Long before I learned about the AA program, I had all of the answers and they were all right. Not only that, but I ALWAYS had to be right, even if very wrong. Soon after starting to work the AA program, I discovered that this attitude was making me a very unhappy person whenever I was near someone with whom I did not agree. Unhappy, many times, meant violent. Angry and violent made me someone who others did not necessarily want to be too near.
The Program of AA quickly led to the discovery (for me) of Spirituality. This made me feel good so, being addictive, I wanted more, much more. This led to studying Spirituality and this led to the beginnings of peace of mind. This then led me to the question of did I need to always be right or did I wish to be happy. Always right led to feeling miserable. Maybe right but allowing for another opinion led to serenity and peace. Those became my choices.
Now, I have chosen to allow others to have their opinions. They can even voice them to me, and it does not make me angry and ready to fight for what I think is right. If I felt that I was right and you did not agree with me that meant you were wrong, in my mind. It seemed like I wanted to have a world full of me-clones? That would make for a very boring, probably turning to violent place to spend any time. Right or wrong, who am I to judge?
I have discovered that right and wrong are two attitudes that do not have to be disputed. Political, religious, educational, sexual, ethnicity, food tastes, dress codes, music styles – the list is endless. All have differences and this does not mean right or wrong. I still feel passionate about certain issues but choose not to discuss them with many. Why? Because I am possibly looking for a fight when I enter the discussion.
I have also learned that I have learned so much more by listening to people instead of looking for ways to disagree. This was actually getting angry when the other person has an opposing opinion. Opinions are like fingerprints – everyone has them and they are all different. This does not make them wrong and me right it just makes them different.
So, the choice for me is do I want to be right or do I want to be Happy, Joyous, and Free? That is really my ONLY choice. Remember the mirror – what you put into it you get out of it. If I don’t like the image that I see, I can either change my input or walk away from the mirror. What about you?