After I had been in the program for a while and worked the first 3 steps I started to feel better about everything. It came to me that I was having trouble making some decisions and handling my life pretty much in general. It seemed like I had more problems since stopping drinking than I ever did when drinking. It was starting to get so bad that I was thinking that I was wrong to stop drinking. When I was drinking, at least I had oblivion to look forward to. When I told this to some of my sponsors they told me that my emotional growth had stopped dead in its tracks when I started drinking alcoholically. That, whenever a problem arose, I never dealt properly with it. I medicated it with alcohol.
Now, when a problem arose, I had to deal with it without my fall back resource, alcohol. Did I and would I make mistakes dealing with these problems without alcohol? You betcha I did and will. Were they fatal mistakes? No and they will not be. How can I say that they will not be serious mistakes in the future? Because, when I am working my program TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY, my Higher Power will give me His Divine Guidance and Wisdom.
They told me in no uncertain terms that it was time to get off the pity pot and work the ENTIRE AA Program, not pick and choose which steps to follow. So, the answer for me is, since I truly want to be Happy, Joyous, and Free, I must work the entire program to the best of my ability. This means all 12 Steps. If I don’t, I am not truly working the 3rd Step properly. I am turning my will and life over to my Higher Power and taking it back just as quickly and completely as I gave it. This is not working the AA Program, this is working the JB Program, JB standing for Jim Boylan Program.
How well did I do working my own program before finding AA? Not well at all. That was when I didn’t like me and so hated everyone and everything else. There are 12 Steps to this marvelous program and, like a tower building, I need much more than a good foundation or base. I need the rest of the structure so that it can be profitable. I need much more than cursory working the first 3 Steps of the AA Program. I need the others, too, so that it can be profitable for me. The ONLY step that even mentions alcohol is Step 1. The rest are all about our thinking. Change our thinking – change our lives.