I had a reminder recently of all that I have to be grateful for. I was reminded that, since I have joined AA and began working the Program to the best of my ability, I now have choices. Looking back, I don’t think that I had choices before the Program showed me that there was a better way. This way is the way of sobriety. SOBRIETY is a lot more than just not picking up that drink or drug. Sobriety is feeling truly Happy, Joyous, and Free. And I do, almost every moment of my life since I was introduced to this amazing program.
When I first entered AA, I heard How it Works read before almost every AA meeting that I attended. The 2nd paragraph jumped out and grabbed me by the throat almost from the very first time that I heard it. It says “If you want what we have and are willing to go to any lengths to get it, you are in the right place.” I wanted what I was seeing and hearing from the other members of AA regularly. I wanted it badly! I knew that I was willing to go to any lengths to get it. Whatever these lengths consisted of.
I was raised in the streets where it would cost me whatever I had in my pockets to just come down off of my porch. If I told Recob that I had a dime, he told me it would cost a dime to come down. Sometimes, I lied and said I had a nickel. I then gave him a nickel and continued on up to the corner store and got an ice cream cone with a hidden nickel. I would surely, then, take a thumping when I came out. My mother could never understand why I was elated when he was killed in a motorcycle accident.
As I grew older and fears would appear, I learned that alcohol would numb the fearful feelings for a short time and I dove head first into drinking. I dug in even though I blacked out most times that I drank. I didn’t drink for the taste. I drank for the effect. I had many different types of friends growing up. Some just like me and many just waiting until they got older to go to prison.
My first job when I got out of the Army was as a bouncer at a red neck joint in Muskegon. I supplemented this with foundry work in the daytime. All of this is to say that I have never been out of place with almost anyone, no matter who they were or what they did.
Now, to explain the reminder I earlier told of. Recently, while working at the St. Andrews Soup Kitchen on the notorious East side of Flint, I heard that we lost another regular patron of our services. She was not a so-called “nice” person. She was a person who made her living, or I probably should say existence, by turning tricks as a street walker on the streets of East Side Flint. She was a drug addict who robbed her dealer and was paid back, along with another lady, with a severe beating. Word is that one died and the other was close to death. Was she one who I would invite over for dinner? No, but she was someone’s daughter or sister. She was my spiritual sister.
I hear these stories with too much regularity at the Soup Kitchen and the first thought is “Thank you God for guiding me to and keeping me on track with Alcoholics Anonymous. There for your grace go I!”
There was someone who attended our Zoom meetings here for a while who told someone that I was really intense. I plead guilty as charged. I learned a long time ago that I can’t take myself seriously and I don’t. I do take my AA Program as serious as a heart attack, though, because “There but for the grace of God go I!” Sorry for the rant but I had to get it out and thank God you are here.
Don’t be afraid of living. Be happy with the fact that you can now truly live and enjoy life. If you didn’t drink or drug today, you now have choices, maybe for the first time. Do you choose to be miserable or do you choose to be Happy, Joyous, and Free? The choice is yours and nobody else’s. Choose wisely!
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