since I now am using my inborn spirituality?
Recently, I celebrated the 46th anniversary of my last drink. In Earth years, this is a long time. In the Eternity of our Spiritual Life, this is a drop in the bucket. In my earthly existence, this is over half without a drink.
What got me to this point? Embracing the AA Program! This amazing program literally saved my life by showing me a new way of not only living but really enjoying life.
Did I take to the program immediately? No, but it did not take long for me to not only hear from other members but actually see the changes in their lives for the better.
I was at a place in my life where I was not sure that I actually wanted mine to continue. I didn’t even know what I did want, just that something needed to change because the life that I had just wasn’t worth living.
I figured, there was nothing to lose by trying what the others were suggesting. I could see nothing other than misery and despair. I heard “Fake it ‘till you make it” a lot and decided to try it.
Step 1 was a no-brainer for me. My life had become completely unmanageable and drinking seemed to be involved in all of my misadventures.
Step 2 began making sense as soon as I understood that, although I may not be insane, many of the things that I had done were insane. I knew that I needed some type of help because I could change nothing alone.
I knew that there was a Power of some kind “out there” because I had observed the change of seasons, planets, and stars flying around space and not wiping us out.
My regular breathing in followed by breathing out and a pulse without any of my help, let alone even thinking about them.
Step 3 simply asks me to try to tap into this Power and ask It for help. How? When I was in the “white knuckle” stages of early AA, I could not remember the Serenity Prayer or any other for that matter.
Wiser heads than mine strongly suggested that I use a shortened version of the 3rd Step and simply say “God help me” and move on. So, I tried it and, “ta-da,” it worked.
Not just once or twice but most of the time, depending only on how humble I could make myself when asking for help. I am still waiting for help from the times I asked for help with a SHOW ME!!! or a disbelieving attitude.
It didn’t take me long to see and finally realize that He would help me whenever I asked with the humble feeling that I don’t believe that I had in my system before.
What do we do when we ask a friend for help and get it? We thank them. I soon began thanking my Higher Power for the assists, which were growing in number every day.
And then thanked Him for everything that occurred in my life because I soon came to believe that He was taking care of me in all of my affairs.
To this day, I still see people in AA going through rough times that would have broken them before. Now they are dealing with them in positive ways.
And coming out stronger than ever. This is not to say that every day is full of laughs and giggles, but the forks in the roads of our lives are met with confidence, not fear.
Now to answer the question posed at the beginning, What do I do now? I continue working on my program to the best of my ability. I KNOW that, if I do, all will be well. I will sleep at night.
I’ll remember all that I do, make difficult decisions without hesitation, continue to love all that I meet, and reap the rewards of doing this by being comfortable with my life.
Sobriety is like love. To keep it, I must give it away. If I give love, I am loved in return. If I pray that others can be, not only as Happy, Joyous, and Free as I am but also have more, then I will also have someone to learn from.
May God Bless You all, my friends. Thank you, God!
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