A few months ago, I celebrated the 45th anniversary of my last drink. In Earth years, this is a long time. In the Eternity of our Spiritual Life, this is a drop in the bucket. In my earth life, this is over half without a drink. What got me to this point? Embracing the AA Program! This amazing program literally saved my life by showing me a new way of, not only living but, really enjoying life. Did I take to the program immediately? No, but it did not take long for me to, not only hear from other members, but actually see the changes in their lives for the better. So, I wondered what do I do now!
I was at a place in my life where I was not sure that I actually wanted for mine to continue. I was not even sure what I did want, just that something needed to change because the life that I had just wasn’t worth living on in. What do I do now? I figured, what did I have to lose by trying what the others were suggesting? Absolutely nothing! Nothing, that I could see other than misery and despair. I heard “Fake it ‘till you make it” a lot and decided to try it.
Step 1 was a no brainer. My life had become completely unmanageable and drinking seemed to be involved in all of my misadventures. Step 2 began making sense. Just as soon as I understood that, although I may not be insane, many of the things that I had been doing were insane. I knew that I needed some type of help because I could not change any of this by myself. I knew that there was a Power of some kind “out there” “up in heaven” because I had observed the change of seasons. Planets and stars flying around space and not wiping us out. My regular breathing in followed by breathing out. A pulse without any of my help, let alone even thinking about them. Step 3 simply asks me to tap into this Power and ask for help.
How do I do this? When I was in the “white knuckle” stages of my early AA Program, I could not remember the Serenity Prayer, 3rd Step Prayer, or any other for that matter. Wiser heads than I strongly suggested that I use a shortened version of the 3rd Step. They told me to simply say “God help me” and move on. So, I tried it and, tada, it worked! Not just once or twice but most of the time, depending only on how humble I could make myself when asking for the help. I am still waiting for help from the times I asked for help with a SHOW ME attitude!!! Or a disbelieving attitude.
It didn’t take me long to see and finally realize that He would help me whenever I asked with the humble feeling that I don’t believe that I had in my system before. What do we do when we ask a friend for help and get it? We thank them. I soon began thanking my Higher Power for the assists, which were growing in number every day. Then thanking Him for EVERYTHING that occurred in my life because I soon came to believe that He was taking care of me in all of my affairs.
To this day, I still see people in the program going through rough times that would have broken them before. Now they are dealing with them in positive ways and coming out stronger than ever. This is not to say that every day is full of laughs and giggles. And the forks in the roads of our life are now met with confidence, not trepidation. So, now to answer the question posed in the beginning of What do I do now?
I continue working my program to the best of my ability. KNOW that, if I do, all will be well. I will sleep nights. Remember all that I do. Make difficult decisions without hesitation. Continue to love all that I meet. Then I reap the rewards of doing this by being comfortable with my life. Sobriety is like love, I can’t keep it unless I give it away. If I give love, I am loved in return. If I hope and pray that others can be, not only as Happy, Joyous, and Free as I, but also have even more Happiness, Joy, and Freedom than I, then I will also have someone to learn from. May God Bless You all, my friends.
Please let us know what you think. We can be reached at Spiritualityandrecovery@gmail.com or 810-965-6140 usually within hours and many times
Our AA Zoom meeting is every Monday through Friday, 3:00 PM EST. Meeting ID is 6035280704. Password 399778. It is simple to locate the blogs and Facebook pages. Simply search #spiritualityandrecovery For the podcasts, just go to https://anchor.fm/james-b-boylan On iPhone say “Hey Siri, Play the podcast Spiritualityandrecovery.” Or, on Android “Hey, Google. Play the Jim Boylan podcast.”
