When I first came into AA, I was quite lost when it came to prayer and/or meditation. Maybe even a little intimidated by hearing about prayer. I would usually pray saying “God, get me out of this…..(fill in the blanks)… and I will never do it again.” He would get me out of it and I would chump him or he wouldn’t get me out and I believe that God had chumped me.
The main point is that it was a selfish plea to make me feel better about myself after whatever I had just done that was probably horribly wrong. It was always about ‘poor little, self-centered me.’
The Spiritual program of AA of course had an answer. It was Step 11. “Praying only for the knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry it out.” We have talked here before about “Fake it ‘till you make it” and so that is just what I did. Long, drawn out prayers asking for mercy or help for a long list of transgressions and/or people were instantly shrunk into the few words of the 11th step. “God thank you for today’s sobriety and thank you for the knowledge of your will for me and the power to carry it out.”
Thanking in advance is Affirmative Prayer. We learn about this in our Spiritual studies. Bingo, my life immediately started to get much better. I had not known how to pray without it sounding stilted and fake until I read Emmett Fox. He was the Spiritual Advisor for Bill and Bob, and he said “Every thought is a prayer!” Now, that can be both energizing and fear inducing. Now I’ve gotta even clean up my thoughts? This, folks, is how I became today happy, joyous, and free. If I can do it, anyone can. It is NEVER too late to start! Bless you all!
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