Step 4 states “Made a searching and fear less moral inventory of ourselves.” I have attended AA meetings seating with from 75-100 people to much smaller numbers. At many of these meetings they would concentrate on the Steps. Complete with signs on the tables signifying the number of the Step to be discussed there. Most of the time the 4th Step table would be empty. Newcomers to the program would be hesitant to sit at the table. This was because they were afraid of digging too deeply into themselves. Because of what they feared would come out. They were full of fear and/or ashamed of their pasts. They surely did not want to go too deep into this.
The finishing touch would many times be added by so-called “Old Timers” who would talk of their fears. These “vets” would push them off onto the newcomers and anyone else who would listen. I am sure that you all would recall seeing and hearing these so-called “Icons of AA” talking this way. Spreading their fears onto anyone who would listen. These “Icons” took and still do take out their frustrations of not working their own program properly on the newcomer. This newcomer who was full of fears already. Now they have had their fears “justified” by these AA Heroes.
It is amazing how many go out for another road trip because of just this dread. This does not need to happen. Just because someone has x number of days, years, or decades in the program does not mean that they work a proper program, either. Don’t ever forget that this is a very simple program for very complicated folks. By all means do not overthink this program. So, JUST DO IT! This is more than just a phrase. It is a great way of living.
It took a couple of years for me to do a proper 4th Step. Then, when I was totally ready to do it, I asked my Higher Power for help. I simply said “God Help Me.” Then I sat down and just did it. The former anxiety was gone. This very simple program said only to take the inventory of myself. I remembered when I was a teen working in a grocery store. I had to help with the yearly inventory. We did not count only the dented cans, torn boxes and older produce. Hence, we counted the good stuff too.
A Google search for the definition of “inventory” reports “A complete list of items such as property, goods in stock, or the contents of a building.” This means the good as well as the bad! The step does not ask for explicit details. It only asks for a searching and fear less inventory of ourselves. It does not ask for a list of who I harmed. Thus, only what parts of my character made up my life.
It asks about my character defects. What are they? When I think of all of the things that I had done, they can be summarized easily into several categories. I was a liar. A cheat. Anxiety filled. Judgmental. Aggressive. Sexually perverted. I cared about no one but myself.
In the Big Book, it discusses our character defects. it places the word Fear in parentheses immediately after each and every defect. We have discussed fear recently. We will do so again soon. Fear can be erased. How? By just really working our program to the best of our ability. The opposite of fear is faith. This is why I suggest doing a thorough 3rd Step before entering into the 4th. Or any others for that matter. The shortened version of the 3rd Step is simple. Just say “God help me.” Then step back and let Him. This is how Spirituality helps us. We can now make our way through the AA Program. Also life in general. And all without fear! I will do it just fine if I also use CBA. Conceive. Believe. Achieve.
It all works every time. Now we have a start. Do not think about it. JUST DO IT!
More can be found on our other pages. We have an AA Zoom meeting, blogs, and a podcast. Also our Facebook page. They are updated regularly. We hope that you will join us on these sites. And please comment so that we can share with each other our experiences, strengths, and hopes. The Zoom meeting is every Monday through Friday, 3:00 PM EST. Meeting ID is 6035280704. Password 399778. It is simple to locate the blogs and Facebook pages. Just search @Spiritualityandrecovery. For the podcast, search Spotify.com for Spiritualityandrecovery. On iPhone say “Hey Siri, Play the podcast Spiritualityandrecovery.” Or, “Hey, Google. Play the Jim Boylan podcast.”
We can also be reached at spiritualityandrecovery@gmail.com or 810-965-6140.
Inventory