If you have taken Steps 1 and 2, you are ready for Surrender in Step 3. First, are you truly through the first 2?
Step 1 states: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and our lives had become unmanageable. This step should be done in two parts, after admitting these things, accepting them is another matter in a lot of cases. I admit that I am a white male, 6’2, 200 plus pounds, gray hair, 81+ years old. But do I accept this or do I not? And, if not, what can I do about any of them? Surrender?
The same is true with our powerlessness which is mentioned in Step 1. I know without a doubt that I am powerless over alcohol and that, with alcohol, my life is totally unmanageable. I feared much but didn’t cede to many.
Step 2 states: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. I have not a doubt either that the things I was doing for and because of my drinking alcohol led to my doing totally insane things. I was sure that there was a Power “Out there” somewhere that controlled my breathing, heartbeat, changing seasons, orbits of planets, everything.
But I did not even think about this Power as one that could and would help me now. How many times had I said “God get me out of this and I will never do it again.” Only to continue doing the same, insane things? Why would i ever give in to this Power?
Then the people of AA not only told me but SHOWED me that this Power was there to only help me. And I thought “What have I got to lose?” So, I gave in and tried it.
The results were nothing short of spectacular! My craving for a drink disappeared. My urges to hurt someone disappeared. Health improved. In short, things got better when I fully and totally responded and submitted to this Power. This power who I initially called and thought of as “The Group” from AA.
It continued working as long as I humbly asked for It. By humbly asking, I no longer bargained or wished to control the outcome. Only wanting to feel better. I saw immediately and consistently that, whenever I asked in this way, I received many times more than I had asked for.
Step 3 states: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. I was more than ready to get rid of my load and cede it over to anything that could help. I was in full surrender mode to this Higher Power. I had found just the right Entity to turn it over to in Step 2.
I was genuinely feeling better and was willing to do anything to continue this path. I did not always remember the wording of the steps or even the order but I was advised to just say the shortened version of Step 3, “God help me.” Then step back and get out of His way and let Him. It has worked for me from that time into and including today.
A very important thing to remember about others in the AA Program! Do not be impressed with how long someone has been attending AA or has stopped drinking and/or drugging. Look, instead, at how they are actually living their lives.
Do they not only say but show that they are Happy, Joyous, and Free? Or are they telling one thing and showing fear, anxiety, indecision, anger, or other negative emotions?
Seek out the winners and if they say something, say it. If they do something, do it. It won’t take long until you are no longer copying someone else but it will be arising originally from you. It has for me! Find and stick around the winners!
You will not only learn how to be Happy, Joyous, and Free, but you will meet some pretty cool individuals who enjoy doing the same things that you do. Want to ride motorcycles? Got someone else you can ride with. Want to dance? Got someone else who dances. Want conversation? Got someone else who loves the same things and loves sharing about them.
ACCEPTANCE starts the sobriety ball rolling. We get this when we surrender to the Program. And we may not get it as quickly as someone else. If this is so, don’t worry about it! There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of if you have gone back out. Plenty have fallen on their faces before and came back strong, submitted to the Program, and became people I want to be around.
If you did not drink or drug today, you now have real choices. Maybe for the very first time. Choose wisely. Use the shortened version of Step 3 by simply saying “God, help me.” Then just “Sit back, work your program to the best of your ability, and enjoy the show!” Thank you, God!