We have talked before about this being a simple program for complicated folks. The best thing for me is to remember to use Kiss. This is Keep It Simple, Stupid. The sooner I got this, the quicker I obtained Serenity. The problem usually is mixing simple with easy. Google defines simple as “easily understood or done. presenting no difficulty.” Also defining easy as “presenting few difficulties.” The difficulties enter this situation when alcohol is added to the equation. Many of the other alcoholics share a similar trait with me. We seemed to have problems dealing with life coming at us. It starts with the big things and ends up with problems with even the smallest of things.
I was always reading between the lines. This was when someone was talking. I was trying to see what they “really” meant. If someone said something simple to me, I was always looking for the problem or “ulterior motive.” Even a compliment directed at me was met with the feeling of skepticism. Or else a long dissertation on why I didn’t deserve the compliment. Many people, especially alcoholics, can not take compliments well. We blow off so many kind words. And then we wonder. Why does no one say nice things to us anymore.
The 12 Steps of this amazing program are very simple in their makeup. There are no hidden meanings between the lines. They say what they mean and mean what they say. It is put out straightforward, and yet we are suspicious of what it really means.
Step 1 says we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives had become unmanageable. End of pondering this. Simplicity says either we are or are not. End of story, right? OK, let’s make it harder and add some difficulty. “I can quit any time that I want.” Or “I still have a family and job so my life is not totally unmanageable!” Or “I’m not as bad as some that I know!” Simple but not always easy! Just KISS. Simply accept the facts as they are and move on.
Steps 2 and 3 talk of a Higher Power. “…but my God is a judging, punishing God.” Think of all of the natural phenomena that can not be explained by what a human can not perform. Also so called miracles that occur. Try “faking it until you make it.” “Pretend” to believe and move on with your life. Once again, simple but not always easy. Why the difference? Because we are recalling and equating past experiences with similar situations in the now. Also being possibly filled with dread because we just know that it will happen again. KISS.
Steps 4 and 5 have us dig into our deepest “secret place,” our minds. And who wants to go back there? The problem is that we are only as sick as our secrets. How do we cure this? We bring them out into the open. What happens when they are in the open? “Poof,” they are no longer secrets. This means no longer the mental burden that they were. A problem shared is a problem cut in half. What a relief to no longer have to carry this excess baggage around in our heads. Because we KISS.
Steps 6 and 7 is used when we have had more than enough misery and really wish to get rid of it. As the list goes on, the relief grows. Only if we KISS.
Steps 8 and 9 was met with fear. “What are they going to think if they know this about me?” “I’ve already told them I’m sorry. What more can I do?” I really thought that no one else knew about the things that I did and thought. Truth to tell, almost everyone who knew me knew all about me. Because I was doing whatever horrific things came up. I wore out my “I’m sorry” mantra. For me, “I’m sorry more often than not meant “Get off my back.” Not that I regretted doing whatever. So, neither Step 8 or 9 say to just tell the other person that we were sorry. KISS. They wish us to let them know that, not only do we regret the transgression, we are not not the same person. We will do whatever is possible to make the wrong right.
Step 10 tells us to continue taking a personal inventory. And, when wrong, PROMPTLY admitting it. This is a beautiful step because it can even be worked for things that “pop up” in our minds. Things about events from our days in the madness. We take care of them RIGHT NOW. How does this simplify things? By doing the 10th Step, we never have to go through the previous 4th, 5th, 8th, and 9th Steps again. Doing these Steps again would have us carry the things around in our heads again. Carry them until the process was completed. In the 10th Step, we think of something and get rid of it IMMEDIATELY. “Pfft,” there goes the mental weight. Right NOW, not days later. KISS.
Step 11 even takes the guesswork out of Prayer. We don’t have the bedsheet full of things to pray about. Every one is individually thought of. We simply ask for the knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry it out. KISS. This could not be any more simple.
Step 12 is a 3 part step. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps. This is only to acknowledge that it happened. It has been proven to us. We see our vast improvements. We tried to carry this message to alcoholics. This message is best carried by our just doing the next right thing. By showing others how we have changed. Not just telling. And to practice these principles in all our affairs. This means just what it says. ALL OUR AFFAIRS. This does not mean just at AA meetings. And maybe at church. It means the other 23 hours in every day. It means when at work. Also, at play. KISS. In good times and bad.
Our past clouds and soils our presents. For me, the best thing to do is not think too much. When I do, I complicate the heck out of it. KISS. Live in the now. My best thinking got me into the messes of my life. At this point, we truly know right from wrong. So I simply go on the assumption that if it feels right, do it. If I am apprehensive, stop. Postpone it. Cease it. Reconsider doing it. If it is simple, I am comfortable. So, if it feels good, it will not be bad. So I do it!
What do you think?
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