In the Big book of AA, it lists character defects and after each one, in parentheses, is the word Fear. Fear is the common denominator of all of our shortcomings. Anxiety – fear of getting something or something happening; Depression – fear of what MAY happen; Anger – not knowing what to do about a situation; Frustration – unable to deal with a situation to our liking; and on and on ad nauseum. “I am afraid of getting into a situation where I reflexively take a drink.” “I am afraid of what someone else will say if I do such and such.” How can we overcome these fears?
We have all had them and what did the fear result in? Did the right answer immediately come to mind? Not very often for me! Did we overcome them? No, more often than not. Fear can do one of two things to me – it can keep me stuck or it can be a great teacher. Reverend Jane Beach, a New Thought minister, says in the Science of Mind magazine, “Fears are thoughts I created in my own head, and if I created them, I can change them.” We have talked about doing this before and this just reinforces our talks.
When I discover just what scares me, I begin to overcome and move on into a new level of self-understanding. By acting on this new understanding, I begin to work my way through these fears and the effects are similar to bowling pins knocking each other over. One just naturally leads to another. And on and on. I can soon discover that I am not powerless. Instead of letting my fears paralyze me, I can pray, find reasons to be grateful, and focus on happy outcomes. In this way, I can control my fears. I don’t have to let them control me.
Many of my fears were nameless. They were just there and I hadn’t a clue what or why. I would wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat and wonder what was wrong. I began losing my fear of taking another drink. The fear changed to a healthy respect of what it could do. I quickly discovered that I was going for much longer time periods without even thinking of taking a drink.
As soon as I began praying, finding reasons to be grateful, and focusing on happy outcomes – BAM! The fears began melting away. i began to overcome them. A good night’s sleep became the norm instead of the exception. Waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat ceased happening. New thoughts and ways of doing things no longer paralyzed me. They excited me. You are not listening to the rants of a deranged man. You are listening to one that is speaking from the strength acquired by doing the above. And doing it consistently.
“Yeah, but, if you had this situation coming up like I have you would be fearful too!” No more “Yeah, buts” for me. I am Happy, Joyous, and Free. My hope, no my fervent prayer, is that you are Happy, Joyous, and Free. At least as much as I am and even more so. As soon as you surpass my joy, I will be first in line to ask you “How did you do it?” Because I really want to know. In this way we can use each other as springboards for each other. Springboards to be truly Happy, Joyous, and Free.
It all starts with doing away with the fears. Don’t be afraid of living. Be happy with the fact that you can now truly live and enjoy life. If you didn’t drink or drug today, you now have choices, maybe for the first time. Do you choose to be miserable or do you choose to be Happy, Joyous, and Free? The choice is yours and nobody else’s’. Choose wisely! God bless you all!
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