Courage means different things to different people. Depending on what kind of environment one was raised in, this can mean anything. Anything here means being able to get out of bed in the morning. Doing chores when friends want us to do something else. Guts to face whatever perils may or may not greet us when we leave the house, to existing under real or imagined fire. The Serenity Prayer advises us to have the courage to change the things that we can. We see the reports of service members and police officers getting medals for courageous service “above and beyond the call of duty.” Webster’s Dictionary defines Courage as: mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty.
Before I was admitted into AA and learned some of the differences, I believed that courage was valor and guts only. Coming into AA, I was full of fears, mostly the unnamed type. Thinking through these fears, I kept ramming my figurative head into the wall. I was looking who or what to bang my way through, if there were none there. I learned in AA that the opposite of fear is not valor or guts. The opposite of fear is FAITH!
Let’s return to The Serenity Prayer. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things that I can not change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. The important part of this is the wisdom to know the difference. If I feel the need for courage, I am trying to change something, from an attitude to a physical obstruction. So, Divine wisdom tells us that if it is me, I can change. If it is someone or something else, I CAN NOT CHANGE IT! This applies to EVERYTHING. The Program of AA is not a cafeteria where we can pick and choose what we want to take and what we want to leave.
The Program of AA is a 12 Step Program and these Steps are all included for a reason. We should first admit and accept what we are, alcoholics having an unmanageable life. (Step 1) We should then acknowledge that there is a Power that is larger than life itself. (Step 2) We should then invite this Power into our lives all the way. (Step 3) We didn’t come into AA on a winning streak so we should perform a thorough inventory of our lives, feelings, and emotions. Our past will be brought into the forefront when we do this inventory, not hidden in the back of our heads. They are a heavy load that we are carrying in our own heads. (Step 4)
Since the loads are so heavy, we must bring them out into the open air. We must let the ones we have harmed know that we know that we harmed them and we are not the same person. This goes far beyond saying “I’m sorry!” (Steps 5-9) We must review our actions both as we are doing them and at the end of our day so that we can correct the miscues while they are still fresh. (Step 10)
We should then continue a dialog with our Higher Power so that we can keep on the upward path of life. (Step 11) Finally, we should continue doing all of the above 24/7/365 and helping others who seek assistance from us on how to improve all of our lives. (Step 12) The ONLY thing that I can change is me. I can not make someone else like or even tolerate me. If I wish to have another person get closer, I must figure out what needs changing inside me and just do it.
This is where courage comes in. No matter how much I like the “old me” and have “old ways” ingrained, now is the time to change them in me. EVERYTHING ELSE will fall into place. Do this and it will come true only as much as you believe that it will. Come on, my courageous warrior, make the changes and enjoy the ride! If you didn’t drink or drug today, you now have real choices to make. Please choose wisely!