When I first entered the Program of AA, I had no idea of what hope or gratitude really was. I didn’t hold out much, if any, thought that hope was for me. I was down so low that I had to look up to see the belly of a snake. Today I am truly a Happy, Joyous, and Free person. Why? Because I am grateful for the help that I have gotten and continue to get from my Higher Power. This help includes the Program itself. It also prominently includes you people who are also working your way through life by using the Program as your main tool for Happiness, Joy, and Freedom from addiction.
I heard early in the Program that one of the main motivators of serenity is Gratitude. Not even knowing what serenity was at the time, it sounded good and I wanted some. I was also told that, if I didn’t know how to work parts of the program to fake it till I made it. So, figuring that I had nothing to lose, I started out faking it by copying others in the program who seemed to have a good life going for them. I felt like I had nothing to be grateful for. They told me to feel my pulse or see if I could fog a mirror with my breath. This would mean that I was alive. Coming off years where suicide was thought of a lot, I was not sure that this was a good approach for me. But I faked it and started to make it.
Then I started to notice that my children were relatively healthy and said “Thank you, God, for this” Also, other calming thoughts then came to mind. As each one would arise I would say “Thank you, God.” Being addictive, I wanted more, much more. This led to my looking for things to be grateful for. With each new discovery, I would feel even better. To this day, over four decades later, I do this each and every day. I do not have to look far for something to be grateful for any more.
I have told my wife that it seems like blessings are chasing me around tugging on my sleeve. They seem to say “Take me, take me!” So I do! Recently was just the latest huge example of the blessings bringing me gratitude that I see in my life and the lives of others because I have found and work this remarkable Program. My daughter was diagnosed with Breast Cancer and was scheduled for surgery in New Jersey. I was in a position to be able to be there with her. Because of the Covid rules and regulations, I only saw her for a few minutes as she arrived at the hospital for her surgery.
To backtrack for a few, we had been estranged for almost 40 years leading up to this. The important thing was that she was assured of the fact that I was there for her, looking for nothing in return. She saw me, Carol and Oreo and felt the love, even though we were all masked. Oreo could even not contain her love and went up to her with her tail wagging and oozing love. I was able to relay the prayers and messages from others, most of whom she does not even know.
She knew that she was not alone in her quest for recovery. For this and so much more I now have so much gratitude. The Program of AA has introduced me to a Higher Power, who I now choose to call God, that was always there but I was too blinded by self and alcohol to see and/or even acknowledge Its existence. If this former hard headed, angry, violent, amoral, well armed, asocial alcoholic can do it, you can too. I just know it! I can feel it! So, COD, come on down, to this amazing way of life and get with the AA Program and work it each and every day, 24/7/365. If you do, and don’t choose to take your lives back that you turned over to your Higher Power in your 3rd Step, you can and will be Happy, Joyous, and Free. THAT IS A PROMISE!