“Spirituality is great for the AA Program but it might hinder my enjoyment and ability to carry on my everyday life.” “Do you expect me to think about Spirituality all day long?” “Thinking about Spirituality takes the fun out of everything.” These and more, similar thoughts were front and center of my mind when I came into the program. I had no background in this type of thinking, either religious or spiritual. I really didn’t know how to act around it. And besides, whenever something stressful comes into my life, how can an invisible power possibly help me?
I decided to try go with the flow. I listened to the ideas given to me by my sponsors. They said “Fake it till you make it.” I had known these people before they stopped drinking and they were very similar to me in our days. We had been hard drinking, hard fighting, hard everything bunch. I had fought with some of them “In the day” while pulling them out of bars and alleys in Detroit. That was our life at the time.
I was was amazed and impressed by their lives now. They were genuinely Happy, Joyous, and Free. While I was the exact opposite. Miserable, sad, and imprisoned by my alcoholism. First, I started to understand that I drank just as alcoholically as they did. We were the same. OK, I’m an alcoholic. (Step 1) I they saw that there was a Higher Power of some kind “out there.” Something had to get all of this created and started and keep it going. Something had to be changing the seasons, allowing me to breathe and think that there is probably Something responsible for all of this and more. I have a pulse without even thinking about it, and something was completely changing these people I was coming across in meetings from being miserable just like me to happy individuals. (Step 2)
I heard that if I were ready to go to any lengths to get it, too, I would. So, I “faked it” and very soon I made it. I then looked into Step 3 and said, “OK, it is starting to show me that it works so why not?” and I turned my will and my life over to this Power. I heard that Step 1 is “I can’t.” Step 2 is “He can.” and Step 3 is “So, I let Him.” Almost immediately the relief came.
We are only as sick as our secrets and this was the beginning of bringing my secrets into the daylight. Carrying the load was not so heavy any more because I was being assisted with the load by my Higher Power. This Higher Power was working through the others in the meetings.
I have an addictive personality. Thus I wanted more, much more. So I continued talking with my Higher Power and asking for help. I never thought of asking for help with anything before because I thought that it would make me look weak. As soon as I admitted that I wasn’t strong enough by myself, I surrendered to this Power. BAM! Then I became stronger. How and why? I don’t even care because it worked and still does. So, just cause is good enough for me, now.
Do you want to be Happy, Joyous, and Free? I can’t and won’t try to tell you how to do it. This worked for me and if you want to copy it or take it, go right ahead. This program is just like love. I can’t keep it unless I give it away.
Don’t be afraid of living. Be happy with the fact that you can now truly live and enjoy life. If you didn’t drink or drug today, you now have choices, maybe for the first time. Do you choose to be miserable or do you choose to be Happy, Joyous, and Free? The choice is yours and nobody else’s’. Choose wisely! God bless you!
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More can be found on our other pages. We have an AA Zoom meeting, blogs, and a podcast. Also our Facebook page. They are updated regularly. We hope that you will join us on these sites. And please comment so that we can share with each other our experiences, strengths, and hopes. The Zoom meeting is every Monday through Friday, 3:00 PM EST. Meeting ID is 6035280704. Password 399778. It is simple to locate the blogs and Facebook pages. Just search @Spiritualityandrecovery. For the podcast, search Spotify.com for Spiritualityandrecovery. On iPhone say “Hey Siri, Play the podcast Spiritualityandrecovery.” Or, on Android “Hey, Google. Play the Jim Boylan podcast.”
