Dennis Merritt Jones asks a question that I have also wondered about for a long time. “You may hear fine but how well do you listen?” I have been talking with people and will ask a question. The response sometimes is “What?” or something completely off topic. This happens during both one on one discussions and meeting situations with multiple people. They seem to be working hard on what they are going to say instead of listening to the conversation. I do not stay talking with people for long when they do this. Webster’s dictionary defines hearing as: the process, function, or power of perceiving sound. To listen is defined as: to pay attention to someone or something in order to hear what is being said, sung, played, etc.
Jones goes on to describe Hearing as a function of the physical ear and listening as a function of the heart and mind. “Understanding the difference will determine the depth, breadth, and richness of your relationships.” This parallels my thoughts on learning. I believe that there are two distinct types of learning. Head learning and learning with the heart. Head learning is what was done in school when we might cram the night before an examination so that we could get a passing grade on the test. This learning is usually quickly forgotten. Heart learning is learning from the depths of the heart so that the lesson can be retained.
What do you want from the Program of Alcoholics Anonymous? Do you want to memorize the Big Book and 12 Steps so that you can sound like an expert in an AA meeting? Or do you want to learn how to become Happy, Joyous, and Free? Then, listen. There is a vast difference between the two. An “Expert” sounds great talking at a meeting, as long as he is not interrupted or questioned. Then, many times, it is discovered that there is no real depth to his program. They may not be drinking or drugging but they are not nearly as Happy, Joyous, or Free as they appear. Many will return to road tripping because they used head learning. While, someone who listens and learns with his heart practices the program as it was meant to be by the founders. I have not known anyone going back out who was practicing gratitude.
So, if you truly wish to be Happy, Joyous, and Free, listen, not just hear, and learn about it with heart and soul. Then work what you learn to the best of your ability. Then you will end up with a life that money can’t buy. That is a promise! Bless you all!
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