Step 1 states: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable. When I was introduced to this remarkable program, I had to reverse these admissions because, at that time, I did not really know what part alcohol had in my physical, emotional, and mental downspin. I knew that my life was unmanageable because I really didn’t like what was happening. I didn’t have a clue as to what was wrong, only that something was horribly wrong. Was I really alcoholic? I didn’t even like me. If I don’t like me, I hate you. If I hate you, I hurt you. If I hurt you, what does an alcoholic do? What does a deer do when startled, he runs. What does a fish do, he swims. What does a bird do, she flies. What does an alcoholic do, this one drinks.
What does this lead to? In me, it meant that I further hurt you or someone else and the merry-go-round just continues on and on in a never ending spin leading only to death, insanity, or recovery! I absolutely had no choices, once I picked up that first drink. When I was introduced to AA, I began hearing from others who were in the same mess. What a concept! They were really alcoholic and I was not as alone as I had thought. There were others who had felt and done the same things and were now turning into being Happy, Joyous, and Free.
I wanted that too and so heard loud and clear when the 2nd paragraph of How it Works was read before every AA meeting and it said “If you want what we have and are willing to go to any lengths to get it, then COD, Cone on Down!” Before seeing these people who I had known in the recent past to be just as miserable as I and were now actually laughing and joking before, during, and after meetings. They were laughing about things that I had thought were only going on in my own head. I wanted their peace so much that I WAS willing to go to any lengths to get it. I heard “Fake it till you make it” and so, if you said something, I said it. If you did something, I did it. Whether I believed it was true or not. Soon, I was not copying you any longer but the thoughts and ideas were coming out and felt original.
I no longer faked anything. What you see is what you get! To this day, I want what you folks have and I am now willing to go to any lengths to KEEP it, because I believe that I now have it. I saw that, when I worked this amazing program as you suggested, things only got better. So, I will continue to go to any lengths to keep it. Nothing that is good is free. This means that I will have to work to keep it but I do not mind doing the work that you have suggested. When I do, I feel great and when I can make you smile, I am ecstatic. The part of this step that states we are powerless over alcohol now made perfect sense to me. This is because I am really alcoholic.
This was because, once I picked up that first drink, I had no more choices. My life was under control of this mind altering drug of ethyl alcohol.
This step introduces me to the fact that stopping drinking is only one part of really sobering up. If I only just stop drinking and do not work this remarkable program, I am NOT sober. I am DRY! There is an old saying that you can sober up a drunken horse thief and now all you have is a horse thief. If he only stops drinking and does not work a good thought recovery program, then I would suggest keeping an eye on your horses. But, if he joins AA and really works his program to the best of his ability, your horses are definitely safe.
If one still has adulterous, thieving, harmful, hurtful thoughts and/or actions, it is time to see where the program is not being worked correctly. We are not the same people we were when we came into AA. We are completely different! What do we do when we begin to return to some of our old ways? We will learn the answers to these and ANY other problems that may arise as we learn about and actually work the other 11 Steps.
More can be found on our other pages. We have an AA Zoom meeting, blogs, and a podcast, in addition to our Facebook page. They are updated regularly. We hope that you will join us on these sites and comment so that we can share with each other our experiences, strengths, and hopes. The Zoom meeting is every Monday through Friday, 3:00 PM EST. Meeting ID is 6035280704, Password 399778. To locate the blogs and Facebook pages, simply search @Spiritualityandrecovery. For the podcast, search Spotify.com for Spiritualityandrecovery. On iPhone say “Hey Siri, Play the podcast Spiritualityandrecovery”
