This is a question that many have whether they are Alcoholics or not and, as new people in the program, I am sure we all had initially. Just as long as I do not drink anymore, why should I continue to attend AA meetings? I do not believe that I am unique when I say that, to this day, I have an addictive persona. Do NOT leave a bowl of candy or nuts in front of me and expect me to only take one. It seems like I can’t. It took me over ten years after coming into and working the program of AA to finally stop smoking. Oh, I would “only” smoke cigars or a pipe and leave the cigarettes out so I was not really smoking, right? NO!
When I was an undercover narcotic officer assigned to a Federal Drug Task Force and working on building the confidence of the drug dealers by “simulating toking on a marijuana joint” as I wrote in my report, just how far do you believe that I could only “simulate?” How could I “only simulate smoking” by using cigars or pipes to the exclusion of cigarettes? How could I “only simulate drinking” by ‘only’ drinking wine or beer?
No, my name is Jim and I AM an alcoholic. I no longer have the craving to drink but how long do you think I could “simulate” or just plain keep away from the next drink without the support that I get on a regular basis from other alcoholics found in AA such as yourselves? I couldn’t at all! End of story! Fini! Over! I need the continuing education that I get from the meetings and literature and the testimonies of other alcoholics.
I need the Spiritual boost that I get when reviewing my life through the 3rd Step. In the 3rd Step, we are advised to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him. I no longer even think about it. I just do it. I do not live in my past but I surely have not forgotten it and do not wish to ever return. Why? I know for certain that I have another drunk in me. I also truly believe that I do not have another recovery. I will not push it and take any chances.
Today I am truly Happy, Joyous, and Free. I am blessed to be able to thank AA and you folks for this. Far beyond just not picking up another drink, huh? Yup! Everything I have is because of this amazing program. It is because of AA that I now know that I am a Spiritual Being living in a Spiritual Universe, that is governed by Spiritual Law and that I am one with all that exists! This is what I am reminded of and refreshed of on a regular basis. How am I reminded of this? By attending AA meetings after many, many 24 hours in this Spiritual Program.
So, I hope to continue attending AA meetings for the rest of this Human Existence that I am experiencing as part and parcel of my Eternal life. Since it works, why try to fix it?