In the Big Book of AA, is listed character defects and after each one, in parentheses, is the word Fear. Fear is the common denominator of all of our shortcomings. Anxiety – fear of getting something or something happening; Depression – fear of what MAY happen; Anger – not knowing what to do about a situation; Frustration – unable to deal with a situation to our liking; and on and on ad nauseum. “I am afraid of getting into a situation where I reflexively take a drink.” “I am afraid of what someone else will say if I do such and such.”
We have all had them and what did the fear result in? Did the right answer immediately come to mind? Not very often for me! Fear can do one of two things to me – it can keep me paralyzed or it can be a great teacher. Reverend Jane Beach, a New Thought minister, says in the Science of Mind Magazine, “Fears are thoughts I created in my own head, and if I created them, I can change them.” We have talked about doing this before and this just reinforces our talks. When I discover just what scares me, I move on to a new level of self-understanding.
By acting on this new understanding, I begin to work my way through these fears and the effects are similar to bowling pins knocking each other over. One just naturally leads to another and on and on. I can soon discover that I am not powerless.
Instead of letting my fears paralyze me, I can pray, find reasons to be grateful, and focus on happy outcomes. In this way, I can control my fears and not let them control me. Emmet Fox said – “Every thought is a prayer.” So, when we talk about prayer, it does not have to be long, drawn-out, using words that we are not used to using. I talk with My God as if he were simply a friend sitting beside me. I do not use thees and thous with friends or My God. I just talk as the thoughts come and, using the vibrations of the universe, feel the answers coming back to me.
Many of my fears were nameless – they were just there and I hadn’t a clue what or why. When my fear of taking another drink changed to a healthy respect of what using the shortened version of the 3rd Step, “God Help Me,” could do, I quickly discovered that I was going for much longer time periods without even thinking of taking a drink.
What triggers my fears anymore? Just as soon as I began doing the above – praying, finding reasons to be grateful, and focusing on happy outcomes – BAM! the fears began melting away. A good night’s sleep became the norm instead of the exception. Waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat ceased happening. New thoughts and ways of doing things no longer paralyzed me, they excited me. You are not listening to the rants of a deranged man but one that is speaking from the strength acquired by living the fearful life and then discovering Spirituality which led to doing the above and doing it consistently. “Yeah, but, if you had this situation coming up just like I have you would be fearful too!”
No more “Yah, buts” for me. I am Happy, Joyous, and Free and my hope, no my fervent prayer, is that you are H, J, F at least as much as I am and even more so. As soon as you surpass my joy, I will be first in line to ask you “How did you do it?” because I really want to know. In this way, we can use each other as springboards for each other to be truly Happy, Joyous, and Free. It all starts with doing away with the fears. Don’t be afraid of living. Be happy with the fact that you can now truly live and enjoy life.
If you didn’t drink or drug today, you now have real choices, maybe for the first time in your life. Do you choose to be miserable or do you choose to be Happy, Joyous, and Free? The choice is yours and nobody else’s. Choose wisely!