I searched for seemingly forever for an easy, softer way to live. Life was just so darn hard and tough. The only places that I could seem to find solace was either in my basement. Then wrapped around a jug. Or at the bar. Or anywhere else where I could find others who were just like me. What was ‘just like me?’ It was laughing at someone else, not with them. Arguing, fighting, lying to each other. Playing ‘can you top this?’ Talking trash about people and labeling all as ‘them or me,’ meaning separate. This was work. This was definitely not easy.
It is just so difficult living a life where there is no we or us. There is only my way or the highway. “Nobody understood just how bad I had things. If you had my problems, of course you would drink too!” This thinking led to more and more just being in my basement. There I didn’t even have to put up with others. Others who didn’t seem to have a clue. It just seemed easier.
But, there must be an easy, softer way. Just like it says in the Big Book. OK, here it is! There is an easier, softer way! As difficult as it seems when approaching the AA Program, the results prove that there is an easier, softer way. It is to stop drinking and/or drugging. Go to meetings. Finally dive head first into the AA Program.
This is no easy task. But you must admit that it is easier than not pulling the trigger. Especially, when the gun is in your mouth. Or pointed at your head. Easier than changing your mind at the very last second before driving into that concrete abutment or tree. Also, easier than serving time for a crime that you may not even remember committing. The results are much softer than the gun firing. Then only badly injuring you. Much softer than, after striking the tree or abutment, only being badly injured or killing someone else. Much softer with others actually loving you. Rather than looking at everyone who approaches you with suspicion of what is going to follow.
This disease kills, folks! Some were only wounded and are left suffering for the rest of their lives. Thus, people around them are left suffering for the rest of their lives. So, guess what? You now will have a great answer when someone asks you if you have found an easier, softer way. Prayerfully you can be able to answer. “Yes, I have. I found it. Hence, I keep it by simply working my AA Program 24/7/365.” When you do and say this with belief, you will be living a much easier, softer life. THAT IS A PROMISE! God bless you all!
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