“I see all of these happy people at AA recovery meetings who not long ago were just as miserable as I am and I want to feel that way too.” The 2nd paragraph of How it Works says “If you want what we have and are willing to go to any lengths to get it then COD, come on down.” I wanted what many of you had so much that I was truly willing to go to any lengths to get it. Thus, I surrendered to the AA Program and worked “Fake it ‘til you make it” to the limit.
I had no concept of a God so had no Higher Power in my active life. He was there but I would not or could not acknowledge this. Quickly, I came to believe that the 1st Step applied to me. I am powerless over alcohol and my life had become unmanageable. The exact opposite of happy. I also rather quickly acknowledged that many of the things that I was doing were truly insane. (Step 2) Also, many other members of AA had done equally insane things and were now Happy, Joyous, and Free.
They then told me that, to get maximum results from the Program, I should immerse myself in Step 3 and turn my will and life over to my Higher Power. By this time, I was happy calling my Higher Power God. I told Him that I was ready to totally accept Him as my Higher Power. I wanted him to take my will and my life into His hands. What more did I have to lose?
I had already lost most of what I ever had in the form of true joy and happiness and I was nowhere near being independent and free. As soon as I admitted defeat and genuinely turned my will and life over to God, things started to get better! Not only did they become better, but I also could know and feel the improvement.
I heard that when things were tough and I couldn’t even remember the prayers, I could say the shortened version of the 3rd Step Prayer, “God Help Me!” Remember, I was willing to go to any lengths because I was so far down into my bottom. So, I called on my God to help me often. Being addictive, one is never enough. If you offered me a pill that you said would take me Alcoholism out of me, my first thought would be “I wonder what two would do.” At first, I turned everything over. Even the simplest of items like “God help me to brush my teeth properly.” “God help me to talk with my boss and employees properly.”
I quickly began to feel the improvement taking place. Was even beginning to feel happy, joyous, and free. I would sleep all night long. People were actually talking and interacting with me. Because they wanted to not because they had to. Then my sponsors advised me to throw in “Thank you, Gods” regularly. So, I did and continued feeling even better. Today, people may have more physical possessions and/or money than I but I also know of no one who I would rather be than me.
Before AA, I had no choice in anything. All was preordained and I HAD to do it. Now I truly am free and independent and have choices. This is why I say that “I gets to” not “I gots to.” Wayne Dyer said, “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” A very simple program for very complicated folks.
I would heartily suggest that everyone stop thinking about working the program and changing and actually JUST DO IT! I did and changed from being a very angry, violent, profane, well-armed man’ I am now one who is truly Happy, Joyous, and Free! YOU CAN DO THE SAME THING no matter how long or short you have been in the program. Short timers, you can start feeling so good and wondering why you didn’t start earlier. Old-timers, you can improve your feelings of glee much more. How? Just work your AA Program 24/7/365 to the best of your ability and watch and feel it happen. That is a promise! God bless you all!
Photo by Andre Hunter on Unsplash
