What was, and upon occasion still is, my first response to being startled, surprised, or in any way taken out of my immediate comfort zone? Anger! Sometimes, it may be just the simple act of being asked something and not immediately able to have the answer.
In any list that AA puts forth listing Character Defects, anger is right there. Big, bad, and bold. Digging deeper into it, the Big Book puts Fear in parentheses immediately after the individual character defects when discussing making an inventory. This puts fear and anger together in our minds.
When new into the AA program, I was introduced to the Spiritual Way of Life. I was told right away and repeatedly that I was to get rid of any thought of my Higher Power as a judgmental power with human tendencies sitting “on high” telling me that I was going to Hell. I was to call this Higher Power anything that I wished. Just call on It frequently. I was advised that this Higher Power was inside my heart, not up in the sky somewhere. i started to believe them when my anger began to subside.
Being so low when I entered, the only way to go was out or up. Since I had failed in several suicide attempts, even this made me angry. Thus, out was not an option any more. How do I go up? Fake it till I make it and Let Go and Let God. It worked for me! Not always easily but always simple. The anger did subside, though.
How do I do oust this anger? Read, study and finally understand the 3rd step. To this day, I still use the shortened version of the 3rd Step for instant relief. I simply say “God, Help Me,” and move on and LET HIM. And He does! If you are apprehensive about it, Fake it until you make it. Soon, if I were working on really doing this in all my affairs, understanding and then relief came in bad and bold. Only then could I truly turn my will and my life over to my Higher Power. Then, I can and do live a life that is Happy, Joyous, and Free! Whenever I am feeling out of sorts, a renewal of the 3rd step gives the bad feeling a poof pill. “God help me” and “Poof” the bad feeling is gone!
This has taken much of my anger away. Since it works for me, it can and will work for you IF YOU CHOOSE TO USE IT!
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