Just what do you desire your day to be like? “What kind of a question is that? We can’t possibly control what kind of day we will have.” I totally disagree. Do bad things happen to and around us? Of course they do. Is everyone friendly when they are with me? Oh, no! Can I control what others may do to me? Absolutely not! “How, then, can I control what kind of day that I will have?” To learn to do this, take The Serenity Prayer as serious as a heart attack. Because IT IS! It says that, if it is not me, I can not change or fix it. If it is me, I can change it.
Very simple but maybe not easy. So let’s uncomplicate it some. My first reaction to being approached by a difficult situation – for instance an irate ex or family member or just another person – was flash anger. This led to confrontation. Which many times led to violence. This led to added anger. It also sometimes ended in emotional and/or physical pain. This led to feeling “victimized again.” Which led to more anger and frustration. This led to further problems with most encounters for the rest of the day/week. Leading to feelings of guilt. Guilt led to feelings of remorse. This ALWAYS led to the desire to get drunk or high to ease the misery.
When you throw a fish back into the water, it instinctively swims. Startle a deer and it runs. Spook a bird and it flies. Toss remorse to an alcoholic and he drinks. Now, what if I just changed my thinking a little? To, when confronted with such a situation or physical pain or injury, I didn’t react with anger? I totally realize that I can not change the other’s part in the ill-ease. I only desire some peace and serenity. Thus, I can only change my reaction to it.
Now, how do we do this? “Fake it till you make it” sneaks into situations like this. True realization that I can own my part and put space between us for “a while.” No matter what precipitated the anger in the other. Even if the cause was something that I did when in the madness or when coming out of it, “A while” is a very relative term, too. It could be momentarily or permanent. I am not going to change a thing in the way others think or act, short of physical intervention. No matter what I desire!
Thus, I realize that I should truly work my program 24/7/365. How do I work my program 24/7/365? I merely say the shortened version of the 3rd Step, “God Help Me!” Then I just move on. Knowing that, after asking my Higher Power for help, it is provided. It is provided in the form of guidance and inspiration.
I then just do the next thing, knowing that it is right and good. This is where it may call for some of the ‘fake it till you make it’ for a while but very soon it will seem as if it is coming from you originally. Does it cure anyone else? No. Impossible. Does it cure you? Absolutely! Now, what do you really desire in life? Try it because what do you have to lose besides misery and despair?
It all boils down to what do you really desire? To continue in the muddy river of misery and loss? Or to gain becoming Happy, Joyous, and Free? The choice is yours so choose wisely! Bless you all!
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