Signigicant loss can be felt while dealing with losing anything of personal value. Most common is the loss of a loved one. But also, there are any number of things that are of vital importance to us that, if we lose, it is significant to us. Losing a pet, a job, moving from one place to another. There is also the loss of drugs or alcohol to an addict or alcoholic. When suffering the loss of any one of these things, our loss and the following anguish is always the most important and significant one.
Although the anguishes may differ in scope, sometimes even drastically, when it comes to us, they are all a significant loss. They all lead to grief, anxiety, anguish, physical, and emotional pain. If not aware that this is a natural part of life and must be dealt with, it can even lead to physical and emotional diseases that may lead to death. However, in God’s world, there is an answer. And the answer is not pushing it out of your mind and trying to forget the loss. The answer is to recognize and realize just how the process works and that it must be gone through. If not, the significant loss leads to even greater anguish and pain.
Kübler-Ross originally developed stages to describe the process that patients with illness go through as they come to terms with their own deaths. It was later applied to grieving friends and family as well. Also divorcees, who seemed to undergo a similar process. Losing the bottle to an alcoholic fits very well into this scenario of significant loss. Alcohol has been our savior, best friend, only companion, lover, end all, be all so of course losing this avenue of escape is a significant loss.
Whenever one suffers a significant loss, one must go through all of the stages of grief. Kubler-Ross first names 5 stages of this loss/grief recovery and reports that we all must go through the ENTIRE cycle in order to heal. Different people need to spend more or less time in each stage but must go through it to heal. The stages are DENIAL, ANGER, BARGAINING, DE[PRESSION, and ACCEPTANCE.
This may explain why we can suddenly go into a deep depression or funk and not know where it came from. How does one work our way through these stages that affect us all after a significant loss? This is where the Spiritual aspect of the program jumps in, loud and clear. Step 2, there is a Higher Power and I can use Him. Step 3, simply saying “God Help Me” through this and, as it says in How it Works, “God could and would if He were sought.” Step 11, daily reminders to talk WITH the Higher Power, NOT TO the Higher Power, asking only for the knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry it out. Step 12, by working these principles it will get better just as soon as I believe, truly believe, it to be true (faith).
I am truly Happy, Joyous, and Free and, of course, have suffered much significant loss. You can be too! If you are new to AA or an “Old Timer,” dive head and heart first into the AA program and watch your life improve dramatically. Simply (I didn’t say easily) say “God help me.” Then get out of His way and let Him. The more that you use this shortened version of the 3rd Step, “God help me,” the easier it all becomes. That is a promise! God bless you!
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