We spoke of HALT just recently. But I believe that this amazing program of AA works BECAUSE of its simplicity. NOT IN SPITE OF its simplicity. So why not revisit one of the simplest methods of figuring out what is wrong with us when we start to get out of sorts with ourselves? This slogan was on signs on most, if not all, walls in my earlier AA meetings. Sometimes, I find myself getting upset more than usual. Swearing more. Judging others more. Thinking of stopping by an old haunt for a “Diet Coke.” “Just to revisit old friends.” Or any of these feelings that I thought had passed. And, of course, wondering just what was wrong. Simple as it sounds, it usually does come back to HALT. I have gotten too Hungry. Too Angry. Too Lonely. Or too Tired.
We have talked before about this being a simple program for complicated folks. Here is a demonstration that we all have probably had at one time or another. When I get away from basics, problems seem to reappear. We are taught that recovery in AA is more than stopping drinking, much more. Also we are taught that we should alter our thoughts about a lot of things. Things that we just took for granted before, maybe everything.
We come crawling into AA at the bottom of our lives. We had, as the Jelnick Chart shows us, only 3 choices. They are death. Insanity. Or recovery. If you didn’t drink or drug today, think about this. If you get too HALT, you will be right back into the madness. Don’t forget that you can now choose. So what is your choice today? I remember trying to make similar decisions with a gun barrel in my mouth. Or while driving and paying special attention to concrete abutments or large trees alongside the road. I really did not know that there were alternatives for me that I didn’t or couldn’t see that would have made me much more satisfied.
Then I was introduced to the AA Program. Here I was able to meet others who had had this same set of choices before. They chose recovery. When they did, they thrived in their lives. By thriving, I mean that they were satisfied where they were. Also where they were headed. This was because now they knew where they really were headed. Headed if they continued to work their program. By working their program, I mean they discovered that there was a Higher Power that loved them. And only wanted the best for them. This Power was not one that judged and punished.
“Fake it till you make it” became an everyday mantra for me. I really didn’t know about this Higher Power. So I faked it till I made it into belief. This was because of the positive demonstrations that were taking place all around and through me. I was no longer angry. A lot less lonely. I no longer seek to find out how the program works. I can simplify it by saying merely “It works very well, thank you!” Then let it go.
I was told early in my program to “Utilize not analyze.” If I analyze something I am trying to figure out how it works. Then I will be able to control it. How well was I doing with control when I came into AA? Not very well. This was just why my life had become “Unmanageable.” (Step 1)
All that I have to do is continue to be Happy, Joyous, and Free. By working my program 24/7/365 to the best of my ability. Not just at meetings. I can not allow myself to get too HALT. When I do, the same old crap returns. It seems to get even worse every time. This means that I can choose to keep my body in as good condition as I can. As well as my mind with its ability to make decent choices in all of my actions. It is simple but not easy. That is, until we get rid of our desires. No, our needs. Need to be in control of everything. I use the shortened version of the 3rd Step, simply saying “God Help Me.” It’s the way for me to deal with life. Life that just keeps on coming at me.
It all boils down to the question of What do you really want? Do you really hope and pray that you can be Happy, Joyous, and Free? Or do you want to continue living as you are now? If you didn’t drink or drug today, you now have choices. The choice is now yours! What do you choose? Whatever you choose, choose wisely! How wisely can we choose, though, if we get too HALT?
So, what do you want? How can we help you get it?
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