We start with AA’s beginning. Step 1 states: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol. That our lives had become unmanageable. I came into the Program knowing only that something was wrong in my life, horribly wrong. Since I didn’t know what was wrong, Didn’t know how to fix it. I didn’t know what an alcoholic was. Had thought that one had to be living under a bridge drinking sterno to be an alcoholic. Or an old western movie character known as the Town Drunk who was plunked into jail regularly.
What I did know for certain was that something was so wrong that it kept me awake nights trying to solve my mysteries. Of, course, that was when I didn’t pass out first. I thought that it was normal to black out when drinking. Why? Because most of the people that I hung with did, too. And we would all laugh about it, when not alone and crying about it. Everyone crashes their cars on a somewhat regular basis. Everyone curses quite profanely on a regular basis just to show that we were “one of the guys.”
When I was began in AA, I didn’t know how to begin. But, I almost immediately took to it and the people I was meeting like a beached fish to water. I couldn’t get enough! Many of those questions that I had, both knowingly and unknowingly, were being fully answered. Hence, I wanted more. Much more. And I was willing to do anything to get it and more. Did you ever know an addict to ever want just a taste of anything? Not this one, for sure! Once I would begin something I didn’t want to stop.
I quickly discovered that I was truly powerless over alcohol because, once I picked up that first drink, I could not EVER guarantee my actions. This became my favorite definition of an alcoholic, one I could live with very comfortably. I had known for a very long time that my life had become unmanageable but I thought that I might be going insane and that terrified me. Whenever I wanted to celebrate, mourn, argue, agree, fight, flee, or Answer D to all the above, I drank. When I was upset with someone, I would curse, argue, and even fight with them as a start, just to get my point across.
I have said before and totally believe that this step is not only for newcomers. Had been in AA for over 30 years and doing quite well BUT could not stop cursing, many times with the F and MF bombs. I thought Jesus Christ was just what one said when striking my finger with a hammer when missing the nail. I thought that God’s last name was Damnit. It would nag at the back of my mind when saying these things. Finally I decided that I wanted all the Program could give to me and that, to get this, I must begin to change everything that countered this quest.
So, I finally said to my Higher Power, who I called and still call God, that I was entirely ready to take the 3rd Step and turned all of my will and my life over to the care of Him and did. Since that start, I have had peace that I never knew existed before and now knew how to, not only obtain it, but also to keep it. All I had to do was begin to work this amazing program. If I can do it, so can you. How do I know this? Just ask me and step back and listen because I do not know a short version of explaining it.
The Shortened version of the 3rd Step is a short version that I do know. Just say “God Help Me!” Then step back and let Him. And it works EVERY TIME for me WITH NO EXCEPTIONS! God bless you all!!!
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