“I see all of these happy people at AA recovery meetings who not long ago were just as miserable as I am and I want to feel that way too.” The 2nd paragraph of How it Works says “If you want what we have and are willing to go to any lengths to get it then COD, come on down.” I wanted what many of you had so much that I was truly willing to go to any lengths to get it.
I was not happy yet and had nothing more to lose so I surrendered to the AA Program and worked “Fake it ‘til you make it” to the limit. I had no concept of a God so had no Higher Power in my active life. He was there but I would not or could not acknowledge this. Soon, I came to believe that the 1st Step applied to me because, every time that I had a problem, I saw that alcohol was involved. I also rather quickly acknowledged that many of the things that I was doing were truly insane and many other members of AA had done equally insane things and were now Happy, Joyous, and Free.
Soon, I realized that there was a Power “Out there” that had always been there but I didn’t acknowledge. Maybe, if I humbly went to this Higher Power, I could feel as happy as the people I was meeting in AA. I took this Higher Power from “Out there” and tried bringing him “in here,” into my own heart. I figured that I had nothing more to lose so I tried this. This was Step 2. I tried it and IT WORKED!
They then told me that, to get maximum results from the Program, I should immerse myself in Step 3 and turn my will and life over to my Higher Power. By this time, I was calling my Higher Power God and I told Him that I was ready to totally accept Him as my Higher Power. I wanted Him to take my will and my life into His hands. I wanted to finally become happy. Again, what more did I have to lose? I had lost most of what I ever had in the form of true joy and being happy and I was nowhere near being independent and free. As soon as I admitted defeat and turned my will and life over to God, things started to get better. Not only did they become better, but I also could know and FEEL the improvement.
I heard that when things were tough, I should say the shortened version of the 3rd Step Prayer, “God Help Me!” Remember, I was willing to go to any lengths because I was so far down into my bottom. I called on my God to help me often. Being addictive, one is never enough. If you offered me a pill that you said would take the Alcoholism out of me, my first thought would be “I wonder what two would do.” I turned everything over, even the simplest of items like “God help me to brush my teeth properly,” “God help me to talk with my boss and employees properly,” “God help me to take a good pee.”
I quickly started to feel the improvement taking place. I would sleep all night long. People were actually talking and interacting with me because they wanted to, not because they had to. I was finally feeling happy. Then my sponsors advised me to throw in “Thank you, Gods” regularly and I did and continued feeling even better. Today, people may have more physical possessions and/or money than I but I also know of no one who I would rather be than me. Before AA, I had no choice in anything. All was preordained and I had to do it. Now I truly am free and independent and have choices. This is why I say that “I gets to” not “I gots to.”
Wayne Dyer said, “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” This is a very simple program for very complicated folks. I would heartily suggest that everyone stop thinking about working the program and changing and actually JUST DO IT! I finally just did it and changed from being a very angry, violent, profane, well-armed man to one who is truly Happy, Joyous, and Free! You can do the same thing no matter how long or short you have been in the program. Short timers, you can start feeling so good and wondering why you didn’t start earlier. Old-timers, you can improve your feelings of glee much more. How? Just work the Program of AA to the best of your ability 24/7/365 and, not only watch, but FEEL it happen.