I am days away from another birthday. This brings to mind the age old question of how does one become an old drunk? For an alcoholic there is only one way to do it successfully – don’t drink and don’t die! It follows that the way to do this is to follow the SUGGESTIONS that are read in the Big Book and talked of in meetings. Immediately, I saw many who had been as deep into the throes of practicing alcoholism as I had been and now are feeling happy, joyous, and free.
This brings us right back to the basics that we hear from day 1 in the program. Don’t drink and go to meetings. I also used to hear added to this “Get a sponsor.” Why was this added? Because it gave the hesitant newcomer someone he or she felt comfortable with to ask questions that they were not ready to ask in front of others. That is also why, to get or be a sponsor, it is so important to be ready. Ready to get a sponsor means one has finally decided to go to any lengths to get what they are seeking at the meetings. Ready to be a sponsor means that one is ready to assist another person who is struggling with the program by becoming fully knowledgeable about the program enough so that they can explain it without preaching or coming across as THE authority on AA.
I am also a firm believer in men sponsoring men and women sponsoring women. There are exceptions, but I have seen too many examples of it going completely wrong. The sponsee is very vulnerable at this stage and easy to be taken advantage of. Not crossing this line just takes a big hurdle out of the equation. Let’s face it. We come into the program acting pensive, aggressive, full of fear, guilt, and mistrust so we surely do not need it in our recovery! Especially our early recovery.
Now, let’s get back to don’t drink and don’t die. We are attending meetings and seeing that a better way of life can become a reality in our lives too because it has happened to so many others that we can witness for ourselves. I believe that the steps were written in an order that was well thought out by Bill and Bob. The steps are also numbered for a reason. The reason being that there is a gradual entry into this amazing way of life that, if entered into too quickly, would probably be peed away too quickly. This is no different than things were when we were drinking.
We started out by acknowledging that we were in a mess and alcohol was a problem. This is Step 1. We then saw that there was a power “out there” that was bigger than ourselves. Step 2. This is obvious when we see the sun rise and set at exact times forever. Trees sprout green in the spring, and leaves turn colors in the fall on a regular schedule. We breathe without thinking about it. We have a heartbeat without ever thinking about it, and on and on.
I couldn’t do this by myself so there must be a power greater than myself performing CBA. CONCEIVING the action. Then BELIEVING it will work. Then ACHIEVING all of these marvelous things. We don’t even have to think about it because IT IS JUST DONE! WOW!!! What a concept! This Higher Power is REAL because I can see, hear, feel, smell, taste, sense the results.
Now what can we do? With real documented truth in our hands why not surrender to the thought that it can happen to me if I let it? What does one have to lose besides misery, despair, loneliness, fear, suspicion, guilt, and the whole host of agonies that we come into the program carrying. The 3rd Step says “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood him.” When I was new to the program and going through a “white knuckle” experience, I could not not remember the Serenity Prayer. The 3rd Step prayer was too long and I had no one that could be called on for help. I was strongly advised by my sponsors that if I really wanted to tap into the source of this celestial power, to use their shortened version of the 3rd Step, “God help me!”
I earned my BS from the streets long before obtaining one from college. This means that I need to have things simplified in almost everything. Living everyday life is one of them. So, I tried it and got miraculous results! Sometimes immediately. Sometimes slowly. Being the addictive person that I am, I liked it and wanted more so I said “God Help Me” when doing almost everything. I found that my life became much simpler and less painful. After using this method of getting through the day for some time successfully, I started adding “Thank you, God” to almost everything.
To this day, I still say “God Help Me” and “Thank You God” throughout my day and am truly Happy, Joyous, and Free. I am really enjoying my days and the adventures that each day brings knowing that all is well. I am truly an old drunk, just one that does not drink any more. If you didn’t drink or drug today, you now have choices. Do you choose to be miserable or do you choose to be Happy, Joyous, and Free? The choice is yours and nobody else’s’. Choose wisely!