When new to the Program, I felt overwhelmed with new, to me, information on how to live a life that is Happy, Joyous, and Free. I was at an all-time low in feeling that I was completely lost. Was not a happy camper in any stretch of the imagination. There was no balance in my life at all. I was tinkering with suicide, divorce. I had no real friends. My family feared me. I was so low that I seemingly looked up to see the belly of a snake or worm.
Then AA was introduced into my life. I was really liking what I was seeing in those people who had been sober and clean for a while. They were ready, able, and willing to share their experiences, strengths, and hopes with me and I wanted it. They showed me how to balance AA with the rest of my life. I wanted it big time! To the point of being willing to go to any lengths to get what they had. These amazing people were not telling me that I GOTS to do anything at all. They all said that, if I had not drunk or used on that day, I was able to GETS to do anything that I chose. I was not used to being given real choices before and it felt good.
Long story short, I dove into this Program that had helped these people, like I, who dove into alcohol when in the madness. After all, I am addicted to any and all mind-altering substances. These new thoughts and ideas were mind-altering for me. Well, I finally admitted and ACCEPTED the fact that I was powerless over alcohol and my life had become unmanageable. (Step 1) There was no balance at all. After doing this, and listening to my new counselors, called Sponsors in AA, I could see a path before me that I not only accepted but devoured. As I worked my way through the 12 Steps, life seemed to start coming at me firing both barrels.
I pleaded with my sponsors for some relief from what was happening. I wondered “Where is the balance?” It seemed that these problems were not around when in the madness. I had known some of these sponsors before they had left the madness for AA and they had all been images of me. We all were large, angry, violent, well-armed, and had seemingly overcome this and much, much more. Therefore, I listened to them! I heeded them! I grew to love them. They SHOWED me rather than told me how they did it. Because of this, I paid strict attention to what they were doing and saying. I copied most of their actions and words and soon it became so much a part of me that it seemed to be original with me.
I seemed to be having more problems sober than I ever had when in the madness. My sponsors laughed! THEY LAUGHED! I was ready to go to battle with them again when they then told me that these problems and probably, even more, were always around. Just either didn’t notice them or sedated them with my jug. I never had dealt with problems without the assistance of a mind-altering substance. I used alcohol to balance my spinning head and all of life’s twists and turns. Now, when they showed their ugly heads, I was facing them without the numbing influence of a mind-altering substance. They went on to advise me that, when I started drinking alcoholically, my emotional growth stopped. What did this mean? It meant that I was facing adult problems with the emotional level of a teenager. Hence, with anger, violence, and frustration.
Now that I had accepted the 1st Step and was not drinking and/or drugging, I had to emotionally “grow up!” Facing some of these problems was very difficult. But, when surrounded by the loving force of AA, they were being met head-on. ON AN ADULT LEVEL! Was it easy? Get real! Of course not. Was it simple? Sure it was. Just work my Program 24/7/365 and the answers seem to appear at just the right time.
“But how do I work my Program 24/7/365 and have time to deal with the many crossroads in my life that are popping up?” Here comes another “simple but not always easy” answer. When one pokes its ugly head into my face, JUST say the shortened version of the 3rd Step, “God help me!” “That seems too simple. Does it work?” Of course, it does! Just remember that, right after saying “God help me,” get out of His way and let Him. Now, when I have problems, it is usually because I took back, even momentarily, part of my will and my life that had been turned over in Step 3.
Do problems pop up for me today? Sure they do. Life just keeps on coming at us. When it does all that we should remember is to “Let go and let God,” as the old AA saying goes. How do I do this? Just use the shortened version of the 3rd Step. Say “God help me.” Then get out of His way and let Him.
It got me through the beginning stages of sobriety. Divorce. Remarriage. Cancer. A serious car crash. Being shot with a shotgun. Helping to raise children whose father had died when they were young, as well as my own. New jobs. Opening and operating a business of our own. Children leaving the nest and having problems of their own. If it worked and works for me, it can and will work for you IF YOU LET IT! THAT IS A PROMISE! Take it and run with it. It is yours for the taking! Bless you all!
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More can be found on our other pages. We have an AA Zoom meeting, blogs, and a podcast. Also our Facebook page. They are updated regularly. We hope that you will join us on these sites. And please comment so that we can share with each other our experiences, strengths, and hopes. The Zoom meeting is every Monday through Friday, 3:00 PM EST. Meeting ID is 6035280704. Password 399778. It is simple to locate the blogs and Facebook pages. Just search @Spiritualityandrecovery. For the podcast, search Spotify.com for Spiritualityandrecovery. On iPhone say “Hey Siri, Play the podcast Spiritualityandrecovery.” Or, “Hey, Google. Play the Jim Boylan podcast.”
