What, really, is it? Unconditional love, simply put, is love without strings attached. It’s love offered freely. This is love like a pet gives. You don’t base it on what someone does for you in return. You simply love them and want nothing more than their happiness. Agape Love, another term for unconditional love, is considered to be the love originating from God or Christ for humankind, unconditional love that transcends and persists regardless of circumstance. As a Spiritual Being, the Christ in me sees the Christ in you.
This is how we can live up to the line in The Lord’s Prayer that says “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” This is not always easy or done overnight. I thought that I had forgiven my 1st wife long ago when I first came into AA. We had not a marriage but a 16 year divorce waiting to happen. She wanted me dead, literally, and on several occasions tried to accomplish this. We both were practicing alcoholics when we married and, rather than fell in love, probably fell in lust. The two beautiful things that I received from this marriage were a daughter of mine and a son of hers from her previous marriage, who still, decades later, call me ‘dad.’
Whenever I thought of her, my blood would boil. A few years ago, I believe that I finally forgave her and now am at peace with the thoughts of her, not blood pressure raising anger. My spiritual teachings tell me that the Christ in me sees the Christ in her and you and therefore I wish all nothing but happiness, joy, and freedom. I pray that you have happiness, joy, and freedom as much or more than I have. Then we can just go on our ways without the emotional weight on our shoulders of “Why me?” That is just too much for us to carry. When I wonder “what if” about decisions made years or decades earlier, I am merely spinning my emotional wheels because we are always NOW, not then.
What can I do NOW to achieve unconditional love? I can live my own life as well and completely as I possibly can by working my program 24/7/365. How do I do this? Back to the shortened version of the 3rd Step, “God help me!” Then, when He does, “God, thank you!” It really is that simple. Not always easy and sometimes very difficult. What good thing do you know of that is free? It all costs, even if the price is merely saying “I need help, God.” I said ‘merely’ which brings us back to ‘simply’ again. This is a very simple program for very complicated folks. Now go and don’t try to hide your love. Give it away freely and you will be rewarded just as freely. Remember to not expect this reward to come back from someone you smiled at but know for sure that it will come back. THAT IS A PROMISE!!!