People who feel like many of us did before entering the amazing program of AA have a common feeling – I am a victim! Everything bad was caused by someone or something else outside of us. “Not my fault, man!” How many times have you heard this in so many words? Or said them? “Yes, I did this but he did this to me first!” I would be happy but for the (fill in the outside influence such as bully, agitator, illness, injury, lost relationship, the cops, the courts, parents, bosses, children, world events – the list is endless)
The truth is that the only one who can make me happy or sad is ME! No one or nothing else can. Other people or conditions outside of my own mind can not make or break my emotions. Why, you may ask? Because it is not the other’s actions or the physical aggravations, it is how we react to them that can change our moods. Those of us who have suffered cancerous growths, significant losses, failed or failing relationships, physical aches and pains and various other injuries can still be Happy, Joyous, and Free. “But, if you had my pain and/or suffering, you could not possibly be Happy, Joyous, or Free.”
Oh, yes I can because I CHOOSE not to injure myself by adding to the situation. There are many who go through entire lives feeling victimized and therefore teaching the next generations that they, too, are victims. Entire cultures can and do do this. Do I feel happy, joyous, or free about the suffering of another? Of course not! I can and do whatever I can to assist whoever chooses to ask for it. It just will not bring me down to their level of moods. How can one possibly help someone up if they are both on the same level? Impossible! One must be in a higher mood to lift another from the depths.
I choose to not be a victim any more. I did not drink or drug today so I now have the ability to CHOOSE. Recently, Father Jay Gantz said to a congregation on the impoverished, violent East Side of Flint, MI something that fits in very well with our remarkable program. “Our Higher Power is called many different names by many different people but all mean the same Higher Power that created us all. (See Step 2) With this in mind, he said “What separates our Faith communities from other Social Activist groups such as Lions Club, Doctors without Borders, and the like? These are great groups who do wonderful work. However, what is their motivation? The difference is that our Motivation lies Deep within our hearts and souls. Our motivation is to follow Jesus. It is with this understanding that we are able to view the world around us and our motivation is clear. We are located in the most impoverished city of the United States. We are called in a sacred way to minister to each other and to minister to the residents of the East Side of Flint, Mi. Our motivation is not social activism. Our motivation is not one of personal interest, Our motivation is not one of financial gain. Our motivation is one that is sacred. Our motivation is based in the life and teachings of Jesus. We are allowing our God to bring about courage in our hearts as well as in our hands, feet, minds, and souls. Where our hearts are is also where God’s heart is.”
We no longer have to feel victimized by everyone and everything! Yes, bad things can and do happen. The best thing that we can take from this is that we can be CHOOSERS, not victims. When things happen, good or bad, we can CHOOSE how to react to them. We can CHOOSE how to FEEL about them. Therefore we can CHOOSE how our lives are going to be in every moment. Does this mean that we can be happy about something bad occurring? Of course not. But we can CHOOSE to be Happy, that we can now make decisions that we can live with. We can be Joyous that we no longer add to the misery by obsessing over conditions outside of ourselves. And this is all because we are Free from the influence of any mind-altering substances. God bless you!
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