Jim, you are a good boy, but. You are a smart boy, but. You can become anything that you want to, but. And on and on! This is how I was raised.
It was difficult growing up knowing that I was a lot of things, “…But!” It seemed like the “big but” was placed after every attempt at complimenting me. After a few years of being raised like this, I began tuning it out.
Then, of course, I wasn’t listening so more problems arose. This was followed by a phase where I tried to “prove them wrong” by overdoing the opposite of the “big but” and pretty much everything else said to me.
When I received my draft notice, it was signed by then-President Eisenhower. And so, I would joke that I got a personal telegram from the president. There was no “but” in the message. I was ordered to report, period. So, I did and was fine with it.
I learned some great life lessons while in the Army. Lessons that many, maybe most, others learned much earlier. Also, the only one that I really had to please was me. My being happy was an inside job. No one other than me can make me glad or sad.
My drinking was getting out of hand. I had the Midas touch in reverse. Almost everything good that I touched turned into crap. I was a large, angry, violent man whose family even feared him.
I was blessed to have been led to Alcoholics Anonymous. Had no religious training or real experience and, furthermore, wanted none. AA introduced me to spirituality. They said that AA was spiritual, not religious. This is probably why I began to learn as much as I could about spirituality.
When I was learning about spirituality, I was like a dry sponge, thirsty for new knowledge. Got excited when I learned that I didn’t have to have an intermediary.
I had heard, when younger, that I had to go through a minister or priest to talk with God. Imagine That! Now, I could talk directly with my Higher Power. Next, I had to learn just how to communicate with God. AA says we ask only for the knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry it out.
I loved the Emmet Fox observation that “every thought is a prayer.” Some that I knew were intimidated by this. “You mean He can read my thoughts, too?” Of course, He can. He not only created you but He created thought, too. I was actually comforted by this. This meant that my God was personal to me!
As soon as I started learning about spirituality, I began to have more peace. The more that I learned, the more serenity I received. Because I have an addictive personality, the more that I received, the more that I wanted.
Because of AA and what I have learned about spirituality, I am now truly Happy, Joyous, and Free. Have a life that I never was able to even dream about before when I was in the madness.
I have a wife, children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren that have never seen me drink. They love me unconditionally. I love them and am always trying to find ways to show them so.
No longer do I think about a big but whenever looking for something good in me. I am a man with actual friends, not just drinking acquaintances and “buddies.” People trust me. People believe in me.
The beauty of it all is that, if you want it, it can and will be yours if you are willing to go to any lengths to get it. It is really simple. Just work your program 24/7/365 and use the shortened version of the 3rd Step by simply saying “God, help me.” Then get out of His way and let Him.
If you do this, you will be Happy, Joyous, and Free! This will make you spiritually and emotionally wealthy! This is a promise! Thank you, God!
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