I quit drinking. Why do I still have these crazy thoughts
Step 2 states: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. “Yeah, but I don’t wish death to people who disagree with me anymore. Serious injury maybe but not death.”
So, what’s the problem? The problem is that thoughts are THE most powerful ingredient of our entire makeup. When I get a negative thought about anyone or anything, it has a price to pay.
This is a cost that I am no longer willing to pay. This is coming from someone who used to get sight pictures of people who I disagreed with. A sight picture is what one sees when looking through the sights of a firearm.
My world was one that was filled with violence and anger. This is just what I knew. I was beginning to mellow, though. My craving for a drink was leaving. My temper was losing its bite. I started thinking well of others.
I finally started believing Step 2 and looked at my Higher Power as something completely different than the punishing, judgmental tyrant I had thought that God was.
I then turned to Step 3
Step 3 states: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. I use the shortened version when I forget the words of the step. I simply say “God, help me,” and step aside and let Him.
I was down to a depth in life that saw no other choices other than dying or surrendering to the Power that I was seeing transform so many others right in front of my eyes.
I wanted what they had and was willing to go to any lengths to get it! So, I chose to surrender to this new, to me, concept of God. I had all to gain and absolutely nothing to lose.
WOW! I got the start of instant relief. The difference between now and before the Program of Alcoholics Anonymous entered my life was BELIEF! I saw it in others and believed that if it could work for them, why not for me too?
I grabbed onto the life preserver tossed by AA and have not let go ever since. I am NOT the same person that I was before starting to work the Program of Alcoholics Anonymous any more than a frog is a tadpole anymore or a butterfly is a caterpillar.
I do not entertain negative thoughts simply because I do not wish to return to the madness ever again. If I entertain these negatives, I WILL drink and return to the madness.
ANSWER TO TOPIC
Since we are all extensions of the Higher Power, I thank Him each and every day for His guidance, love, and understanding simply by saying “Thank you, God!”
Remember to use the shortened version of the 3rd Step. Simply say “God, help me” and then get out of the way and let Him. This is what started keeping the insane thoughts away from my mental doorstep.
Now, the further answer is to continue. Simply just do the next right thing. How do we know if we are doing the right thing? If we are working our program to the best of our ability and if the thing FEELS right, it IS right. If there is any apprehension at all, it is time to reconsider. Thank you, God!