in a spiritually positive way.
What was, and upon occasion still is, my first response to being startled, surprised, or in any way taken out of my immediate comfort zone? Anger!
Sometimes, the trigger may be just the simple act of being asked something and not immediately being able to have the answer.
In any list that AA puts forth as Character Defects, anger is right there, big, bad, and bold.
Digging deeper into it, the Big Book puts “Fear” in parentheses immediately after the individual character defects when discussing making an inventory.
Fear leads to many emotions, including anger. And, many times, rage.
When new into the AA program, I was introduced to the Spiritual Way of Life.
I was told right away and repeatedly that I was to get rid of any thought of my Higher Power as a judgemental power with human tendencies and form sitting “on high” telling me that I was going to Hell.
I was to call this Higher Power anything that I wished. Just call on It frequently.
This Higher Power is inside my heart, not up in the sky somewhere. Being so low when I entered, the only way to go was out or up. Since I had failed in several suicide attempts, out was not an option anymore.
How do I go up? Fake it till I make it and Let Go and Let God. It worked! Not always easy but always simple. How do I do this? Read, study and finally understand the 3rd step. Turn it over!
SO HOW DO I STOP ANGER AND WHAT DO I DO WHEN IT RETURNS?
The ideal answer is to work the shortened version of the 3rd Step by simply saying “God, help me.” Then get out of His way and let Him.
Then just continually do the next right thing.
If you are apprehensive about it, fake it until you make it. Pretty soon, if you are working on really doing this in all your affairs, understanding and then relief will come in big time.
Only then could you truly turn your will and your life over to your Higher Power and live a life that is Happy, Joyous, and Free! Whenever I am feeling out of sorts, a renewal of the 3rd step gives a bad feeling a poof pill.
Thank you, God!
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