What do you really want from this Program? What do you really desire in your heart of hearts to get here? Do you really crave to say “I’m right and you are wrong in your thinking” or do want to say with meaning “I am so blessed in my life” and no more? When my idea of living comes from trying to top someone or something else, I win more than my share of the contests, but real gratification comes to me only when I feel good about myself.
I went decades not feeling good about myself or even liking me most of the time. When I did think of myself, it was with what was wrong and probably even who is to blame? Then the thoughts would turn to justified resentments and then to plotting how to get even with them, whoever or whatever “them” was. Semantics meant a lot to me, way too much to be more exact. I had to be right so you had to be wrong. When I was like this, I didn’t like myself. When I didn’t like me, I hated you. When I hated you, I hurt you. When I hurt you, I felt guilty. When an alcoholic feels guilty, what does this one do? He drinks. Then, when I drank I felt guilty again and guilt always led to remorse. Which, of course, led to more drinking and on and on and on in the squirrel cage that my life had become imprisoned in. How many times did I wail “God, what’s wrong with me?” “Why am I like this?” “Why can’t I stop thinking and doing these things over and over and over.” My mind was like a racing jet plane flying over me way too fast to stop and let me on board. When I was introduced to this remarkable program, I didn’t know what to make of it.
I saw people who I knew had lived the same kind of life that I was living, seemingly enjoying their lives and happy now. They would not argue or fuss with me anymore when they did not agree with me. They didn’t play word games and twist everything into something that suited them at the expense of others who may have been trying to just learn of a better life. They smoked and joked before, during, and after meetings about things that I could not understand. My thoughts were “If you had been through what I have, you would be miserable too, so why and how can you even think about joking about them?” I see people in the program nowadays who still think this way.
I asked you earlier, what do you really want from this Program and now it is my turn to answer. I want to be TOTALLY Happy, Joyous, and Free ALL OF THE TIME WITH NO EXCEPTIONS! Today, I can guaran-darn-tee you that I am. How did I get this way and how can you too? Simply by working this amazing Program 24/7/365 WITH NO TIME OFF FOR JUST ONE MORE THING! After not only admitting Step 1 but accepting it, I realize that there are 12 Steps to this Program. Only the 1st half of Step 1 even mentions alcohol and the rest are entirely about our thinking. Stick your hand in a basin of water. When you take it out the water instantly rushes in to take its place. This Program is exactly like that. Take the alcohol out of my life and immediately something, in the form of thoughts, rushes in to take its place.
Since I came into the Program, it is now up to me to choose what thoughts rush in. When I come to Step 3, all I really have to know is to say “God help me” and then JUST LET HIM. This is how I know for sure that, to work my program to the best of my ability, I MUST also work the rest of the steps, not leaving out even a period or comma of it. Everyone has physical and or emotional tragedies in their lives, absolutely no one is exempt. I have these tragedies in my life and see them around me in my friends and in the news and remain Happy, Joyous, and Free. How? Shortened Step 3, let Him, and move on. I can not change many, if any, of the tragedies that occur in my life but I can change my thinking about them which leads to my Happiness, Joy, and Freedom. I am Happy that they do not make me drink. I am Joyful that I don’t get rid of my tragedies by giving, wishing, or pushing them onto others, and this leads me to total Freedom from any mind-altering substances which would put me right back into the squirrel cage of life that I was in before. I really want to help anyone else to be able to deal with their tragedies in any way that I can but they have to know that neither they nor I can not stop these tragedies, only help the person to deal with theirs by reminding them that they are never alone and that if I can help at all it is only because, as a Spiritual Being, I am an individualized expression of God and one with all that exists but, so important to know, SO ARE THEY!
It really does work for me and it can to you too, if you JUST LET IT!