What’s in it for me is not just a question asked by “selfish Sidneys.” We all have probably wondered the same thing for various reasons over our lifetimes many times. It is not a bad question. In fact, it is many times a very good question. This is because it covers a lot of ground. Am I ready for this? Do I really want this? Do I need this? Is it the right thing to do? What do I do if I don’t accept it? So, when asked the question of what’s really in it for me about Spirituality, my answer is EVERYTHING!
Prior to my introduction to Spirituality from the amazing AA Program, my idea of God was that He was a punishing, judgmental, opinionated tyrant just waiting to send me to Hell. He did all this from his seated position on a golden throne “Up in the sky” somewhere in his white robe, long hair, in His Human Form. Because of my belief in this from as early as I can remember, I had a fear of God and, to cope with this, didn’t even think about it very often.
When I first came to AA and glanced at the 12 Steps and saw God mentioned several times, I was ready to bolt. I was kept from running by some Power that urged me to just give it a little time and see what happens. When I heard others talking about Step 3 and turning their lives and wills over to the care of this God, I didn’t want to hear any more and almost left but my self-appointed sponsors literally grabbed me, shoved me into a chair and said “Just shut up, sit down, and listen.” At this time I was living in a rooming house in one of Detroit’s more impoverished, crime ridden sections and the men who became my sponsors were ones that I had fought with and rolled around in the alleys with while arresting them in the recent past so we both knew each other.
For some reason, unknown to me at the time, I sat down, shut up, and listened. Maybe for the 1st time, I actually heard and believed what I was hearing from these ugly, menacing, beautiful creatures. They were not only talking but acting Happy, Joyous, and Free and I wanted it deeply.
I just had believed for a very long time that I was never meant to be Happy, Joyous, or free. I wanted what they had so much that I told them that I would do anything to get what they had. As time went on, if one of them said something I would say it. If they did something, I did it. They had told me that it would not be easy to start so just fake it till I made it. Copying them was my way of faking it because I wanted it so much.
Soon, I didn’t feel like I was copying any more. I felt like it was coming originally from me. I immediately started feeling better about myself which led to my observing that others seemed to be changing from 1st class a-holes into pretty decent people, at the very least more tolerable to me. I learned that Spirituality is not what I learn in my head but learn in my heart. I actually feel it and get great vibes each and every day and many times do not even know the reason or source of these vibrations. Any more, I don’t even feel the need to know the source of these vibes.
I have learned that we are all Spiritual Beings living in a Spiritual Universe, that is governed by Spiritual Law and one with All that exists. That is why the unknown vibes sometimes reach me because of my oneness with All. So, to answer the question posed in the title, What’s Really In It For Me? EVERYTHING, right down to my heartbeat and respiration. You too can feel this great and even more so if you choose to and Let Go and Let God.