First, find what is in storage in your mind. Step 4
Before you begin to heal, you must know what you are healing. You gotta know if you are an alcoholic. If so, that there is a Power bigger than you in the universe, and that It will help you if you ask.
You already have accomplished much of this with AA Step 1, Step 2, and Step 3.
Now begins the inventory stage
Step 4 states “Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.” For almost 46 years I have attended AA meetings seating all the way up to 75–100 people. At many meetings, they would concentrate on the AA 12 Steps.
There would be signs on the tables signifying the number of the Step to be discussed. Most of the time the 4th Step table would be empty.
Newcomers to the program would be hesitant to sit at the table because they were afraid of digging too deep into themselves. Because of what they feared was there. They were afraid and/or ashamed of their pasts and did not want to go too deeply into them.
The finishing touch would many times be added by so-called “Icons of AA” who would talk of their fears and spread them to the newcomers and anyone else who would listen.
These “Icons” took and still do take out their frustrations of not working their own program properly on the newcomer. One who was full of fears already and now has had his fears “justified” by these AA “Heros.”
It is amazing how many go out for another road trip because of just this. This does not need to happen. Just because someone has x number of days, years, or decades in the program does not mean that they work a proper program.
In fact, many are only dry, not recovered. Even though they can quote the Big Book verbatim. Don’t ever forget that this is a very simple program for very complicated folks.
By all means, do not overthink this program. JUST DO IT! Is more than a phrase, it is a great way of life.
It took a couple of years for me to do a proper 4th Step. When I was totally ready to do it, I asked my Higher Power for help by saying “God Help Me,” and sitting down and just doing it.
This very simple program said in Step 4 to take a complete inventory of myself. I remembered when I was a teen working in a grocery store and doing the yearly inventory. We did not count only the dented cans, torn boxes, and older produce. We counted the good stuff too. Don’t forget your “good stuff.”
A Google search for the definition of inventory reports “A complete list of items such as property, goods in stock, or the contents of a building.” The 4th Step does not ask for explicit details but does ask for a searching and fearless inventory of ourselves.
It does not ask for a list of who I did what to, just what parts of my character made up my life. See, it’s not as hard as you thought, is it? It asks, in so many words, what your character defects are.
When I think of all of the things that I had done, they can be summarized easily into several categories — I was a lying, cheating, judgmental, aggressive, sexually perverted person who cared about no one but myself.
In the AA Big Book, where it discusses our character defects, it places the word Fear in parentheses immediately after each and every defect. Fear is the foundation of all of our character defects.
Fear can be erased by working through your program. The opposite of fear is faith. This is why I suggest doing a thorough 3rd Step before entering into the 4th, or any others for that matter.
This is how Spirituality helps us make our way through, not only the AA Program but also life in general with all of its twists and turns. You will do it just fine. It all works every time. Now that you have a start, JUST DO IT!
The exciting part is that you are now moving forward into recovery. On your way to being happy, joyous, and free. Thank you, God