To decide means you have choices. Choose wisely!
Recently before one of our Zoom AA meetings, I heard a short discussion on tolerance and acceptance which got me thinking. Then, two days later, the daily reading in one of my Spiritual readings, the Guide for Spiritual Living, discussed the same thing.
The mention of this topic twice in a couple of days reminds me that there are no coincidences. That everything happens for a reason. So I decided that we could look at this together.
One of Webster’s definitions for TOLERATE is “to put up with.” One of Webster’s definitions of ACCEPT is “to endure without protest or reaction.”
Ernest Holmes said “I do not care very much for the word ”tolerance” as ‘we tolerated each other.’ That is better than intolerance, but people who are tolerant because they have made up their minds to be tolerant are missing a lot.” He is saying that tolerance is better than intolerance but cautions against accepting tolerance as an admirable goal.
Paraphrasing, as the reading went on; Can you imagine Spirit or Higher Power just tolerating anything or anyone? Or can you imagine God looking down at Its own creation and encouraging us to simply tolerate it? Can you imagine Spirit creating Itself into different types of people to be ignored, judged, or just tolerated? Isn’t it time to decide just what to do?
For me to tolerate you instead of loving you, I might be thinking of you as irritating or inferior. For me to tolerate you rather than accept you, I might be perceiving you as threatening or subordinate. Also, for me to tolerate you instead of being in unity with you, I might be imagining you as being unworthy or intimidating. For me to tolerate you instead of creating harmony with you, I might be holding you as dangerous or superior.
If I want to live in a world where love, acceptance, unity, and harmony are the norm, then I must recognize what is going on inside of me. When I feel uncomfortable with others, I must look inside and locate the cause.
Remember the Law of Attraction — what I put into the mirror of life, I get back equally. My own worst enemy is myself. Why not make myself my best friend and then everything else will fall into place.
To feel good about myself was a new concept to me when I came into the AA Program. When I discovered that I could feel good about myself, others miraculously felt better about me, too. I had tolerated myself and all of my character defects for so long because I didn’t know that there was another, better way.
At first, it is uncomfortable but we have been uncomfortable before and lived. The feeling of ease and comfort came soon after I started working my program to the best of my ability and asking my Higher Power for help. I use the shortened version of the 3rd Step. Simply saying “God Help Me,” then stepping aside and letting Him.
Now, I choose this as my way of life each and every day because I now CAN choose. If you didn’t drink or drug today, you now have choices, too. Do you choose to be miserable or do you choose to be Happy, Joyous, and Free? The choice is yours and nobody else’s. Choose wisely! Thank you, God!
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