I am not setting the world on fire with my stellar intellectual skills and this is shown in the fact that I received my BS from the streets long before I received my BS from college. As alcoholics, to excel in anything, we should try starting a program of recovery.
I need things to be simple in order for me to understand new actions when I first hear about them. I bring this to the first three steps of AA by making it simple. Step 1 — I can’t. Step 2 — He can. Step 3 — I think I’ll let Him.
Simple is not always easy
The AA program is really simple to get started. Step 1 states We admitted we were powerless over alcohol — that our lives had become unmanageable. I had quit drinking so many times that I finally quit quitting. My life was almost completely out of control. As the fear grew into staggering proportions, I had no idea what, if anything, I could do. By myself, even after reading a bejillion self-help books, I was without a clue as to what was wrong and what I could do about it.
Step 2 says: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. The only God that I was aware of couldn’t or wouldn’t help me because He was a judging, punishing God whose last name was Damnit and Jesus Christ was only an expletive used when maybe bumping my shin on a low object. Then I started to understand that there was a Power greater than me that seemed to be in control. It allowed me to breathe without even thinking about it. My heart beat with no assistance from me. The seasons change on a regular basis. And many other examples of Power that had nothing to do with me. If this Power could do all of these things, why wouldn’t It help me with my drinking problems and my fears?
Step 3 says: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. NOTHING else had worked so why not give this God a try? I had all to gain and nothing to lose. So I tried it. Amazingly, it worked! It worked so well and quickly that, being addictive, I wanted more, much more. And I wanted it NOW!
Enter Ease
This start begins to demonstrate the simplicity of the Program. However, it did not explain to me how this would be easy. Did I get more and much more and, if so, how did I get it? Yes, I did when I jumped into the AA Program with both hands and feet! I was willing to go to any lengths to keep this increasingly great feeling and wanted more. So, I “Faked it ‘till I made it.” After all, wasn’t I always very good at hiding my true self from others and faking who I was? I aped and copied everything that I saw and heard from those of you who seemed to be doing quite well. If you said it, I said it. If you did it, I did it. Soon, it didn’t seem like I was copying anyone anymore. It felt like it was coming originally from me.
This is how the Program became much easier. The ease started when simply faking it until making it. Of course, also using the shortened version of the 3rd Step. Merely saying “God help me.” I began to understand that I was really getting a life that money couldn’t buy!
To this day, as long as I continue to work my program to the best of my ability each and every day, my life continues to get better and better. I went from a very big, very violent, very angry, very fearful without knowing it, well-armed man to one who is Too blessed to be stressed! I am so very grateful to the AA Program for getting me started on this beautiful adventure. And I am so very grateful for you who are in the Program and who are willing to share with me and help me to remain on this upward trail.
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