With no background in religion or spirituality upon coming into the program of AA, I didn’t think much of or about it. My prayers were limited to “God get me out of this and I will never do it again” and He would get me out of it and I would chump Him or He wouldn’t and I would believe that He chumped me. My sponsors insisted that I give this new to me idea a chance.
I didn’t know how, so they told me to fake it ’til I made it. Was very unsure, but I also was hurting physically and emotionally and wanted it all to stop. I saw the people at meetings smoking and joking about what I considered horrible things and I thought that if they had my problems they would either drink or be miserable too.
These others seemed to be actually happy, joyous, and genuinely free. I wanted that and I paid close attention to the second paragraph of How it Works. The part where it says that if I wanted what they had, then I should be willing to go to any lengths to get it. Sponsors advised that using their spirituality was how they did it. I was of the mind that anything was better than my life at that time! Thus, I was willing to go to any lengths to get what they were showing me. It didn’t take long and I soon was not faking it as much and feeling much better.
The strong desire for a drink left rather quickly. I was feeling much better about myself which led to thinking better of others. This is how using our inborn spirituality is the road to being genuinely happy, joyous, and free.
I once thought about most people as a-holes and jerks. As I practiced these principals in all of my affairs 24/7/365, I was amazed at how these jerks seemed to turn into nicer people. My faking it until I made it attitude was leading me to a genuine like and then love for most of them. When I surrendered to the 3rd step, which was surrendering to my Higher Power, I actually started liking myself and this led to loving others. Even real, emotional love for another person was also new to me. I had thought I knew how to love before. But I soon discovered that it was usually more like or lust than love.
The shortened version of the 3rd step is very simple and easy to remember. Simply say “God Help me” and life becomes a joy. The “Help me God” has turned more into “Thank you God.” I am truly Happy, Joyous, and Free. No matter how long or short you have been in the program, you can have it too. IF you only get over any inhibitions about “The God thing” and try faking it until you make it.
This life is yours for the taking. If this formerly very large, very angry, very violent, well trained, and well armed guy can do it, you can too! It is never too late to start all over if you have to. This is a “One day at a time” program. AND, if things are not going well, just start your day all over again. Now you have a new day! Our Higher Power, who I now choose to call God, has my and your six. Try it, you’ll like it! God bless you!
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