Today, I seem to have a gratitude list that is almost too long to be able to count. One of the most important rewards of sobriety for me, if not the greatest reward, was my introduction to Spirituality. My Higher Power, who I now choose to call God, was always in and with me. But I absolutely refused to accept this Power in my life. My Higher Power gave me, among other things, Free Will. I can always choose what to do, believe, think no matter what the consequences.
When living in the madness of alcoholism, addiction, or power struggles, our choices are not always helpful to ourselves or others. In fact, a strong case can be made that we are not able to choose at all, when in this hectic life. I was like an actor in a tightly scripted play when living in the madness of my addiction to ethyl alcohol. Everyone attending my play at the time knew just which buttons to push and which strings to pull to get me to do anything. Others, using their free will, have become tyrannical despots in their part of the world using their power to do whatever they wished to others. Others, using their free will, have become everything from street thugs to bank robbers to predators, to you name it.
Well then, why doesn’t God stop them? Because God’s Universe is neutral and exists using the Law of Attraction. What one puts into the mirror of life, one gets the same out of life. If I put anger and violence into the mirror of my life, I get anger and violence in return. If I put dishonesty into the mirror of my life, I get dishonesty in return. These were some of the things that I knew as a younger person and so that is what followed me into adult life.
What has this all got to do with gratitude? I am so blessed and grateful that I am no longer the person that I was when in the madness. What I put into the mirror of my life is just what I have learned to live with. Now I can live from learning of the program of AA. Having said this, The Law of Attraction has given me EVERYTHING that I have today. I have a wife of 42 years who has never seen me drink and given me a family situation that I never had before. One full of love and support.
I am no longer a very large, very angry, very violent man. I feel so good about myself that I now just want to hug everyone around me. It has given me actual friends who I totally enjoy being around. It has given me you people who, without the program, I would have never known or cared if you even existed or not.
This beautiful way of life is, to me, the ONLY way to live. Anything else would be mere existence. Recently, I had coffee with a person who is in the program and we sat in our own Covid accepted separate vehicles and just talked for an hour. Some program was discussed, of course, but not very much. Just two friends relaxing and not cutting anyone do.wn Not complaining. Not negative about anything. Just at ease, while freezing with our windows open and laughing at ourselves.
This type of thing would have never happened before. You folks continue to provide me with the ability and opportunity to continue on in this manner. How, you might ask? Just by being around me and sharing. My favorite response when asked “How are you?” is “I’m too blessed to be stressed.” The more that you learn about me the more you will see that this is not just a catch phrase with me. It is a WAY OF LIFE!
One of the ways that I am able to stay Happy, Joyous, and Free, no matter what is going on to or around me, is to practice the portion of the 12th Step where it states: Carried this message to other alcoholics and practice these principles in all of our affairs.
Among other ways to do this, I work in a soup kitchen on the East Side of Flint, MI. This is the most impoverished, most crime ridden portion of the city that is regualrly in the top two or three in the US list of most impoverished, crime ravaged cities. I carry the message of Spirituality, Sobriety, and Love to people who are starving for just this. I do not ask if they are givers or receivers of the poverty and violence that goes on here 24/7/365. If they attend, they receive it. Why do I do this? Because “My name is Jim and I have alcoholism.” There, but for the grace of God, go I in many of the cases. I do not preach. I just carry on with my business working my Program with, for, and to them.
The Law of Attraction is on full display here. There are those who want it too and others who are not ready for it yet. I love them all because the only difference between them and me is “just one drink.”
When I am counting my blessings, I do not have time to complain. One of my favorite phrases from the Program comes from the 2nd paragraph of How it Works. “If you want what we have and are willing to go to any lengths to get it….” I wanted it and was willing to do anything to get it. If you want what I have, I wish you to just take it and use it. If you do, I only pray that you achieve even more Happiness, Joy, and Freedom than I because that will give me something to aspire to, also. God bless you!
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